Everything that Will and Kate should do when they visit Cov
Here’s our list if they really want to understand the next UK city of culture
Will and Kate are coming to the cultural heart of Britain (Coventry won city of culture, not sure if you heard) to open the new Health and Life sciences building for our beloved Cov Uni.
After an exhausting day of waving to fans, cutting ribbons and doing charity work, what else could the future king and queen do in Coventry?
We've compiled a list of all the things they need to do on their trip in order to understand our magnificent city half as well as we do. And yes, Kebab Rush is on the list.
Go to Filling Station for a cheap baguette
Cutting ribbons and, really, anything that requires you to get out of bed can make you work up an appetite. Unfortunately, Will left his wallet in the car and Kate has three quid in her purse spare.
Where else could satisfy their hunger better than Filling Station, the finest dining experience Coventry has to offer? At least according to the massive queue outside the place. We think they'll love it.
Go to Cosy Club for overpriced cocktails
"£7.75 for a bloody Mojito are you having a laugh mate?" is what someone who is poorer than Will and Kate would say when entering the classy Cosy Club.
They really do over price their cocktails but the interior of the place looks like a palace so Will and Kate should feel right at home!
What better way to enjoy the culture of Coventry than slamming down some Bloody Mary’s and Pina Coladas? Plus, it’s the only place in the city centre where they won't look out of place.
Hang outside of Empire on a pushbike at 1:30am
Only the coolest people do this, and what is cooler than being the head of state in a few years time? How much more street cred would they need after having a wedding that costed millions?
And, most importantly, would anyone look as intimidating as Kate Middleton in some black Canada Goose on a BMX out front of Benny's? The answer is no.
Go to Castle Grounds and be like 'oh yeah we own a few of them’
Coventry is far away from Windsor and Kensington so it must be rough for Will and Kate having to stay in the Britannia Hotel (yikes!). What better way to remind them of home than to go to The Castle Grounds?
Will would rightfully be fuming at the £4 pints and would be considering having the owners banished from the land, or whatever royals do to people they don’t like.
Go to Kong and buy some wavy fits
Kong is the best place in Coventry to get some wavy garms so Will and Kate need to check it out. This really is the only way they will be able to blend in with the Cov student population and locals.
In cultural Coventry, everyone and their mother has the black Old Skool Vans so in order to fully assimilate with the students they’d need to cop a pair. Plus, it’d be cool for a future queen to be seen rocking some Stussy and Adidas like the proper road gyal we all know she is.
January 16th is a Tuesday, so…JJs?
After downing a couple of pitchers of Purple Reign (see what I did there?) at Spon Gate they can go enjoy the same Intoxicated/That’s Not Me remix that’s been playing at JJ's for years.
They may feel awkward when the DJ oh-so-cleverly yells "who here is from Cov University", though. But not nearly as awkward as the Warwick students do, at least.
And when Mr Brightside comes on you fully know Kate would scream in ecstasy and Will would slope outside for a fag.
Kebab Rush after a messy one
In order to properly enjoy everything Coventry has to offer, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge would OBVIOUSLY need to finish the night in K-Rush.
Picture Kate, slumped on Will's shoulder as he tucks into his questionable looking chicken. But let's be real – he’d probs eat it with a knife and fork and get kicked out by the other rowdy Kebab Rush customers. There's no room for cutlery in K-Rush.
If they stay another day, why not go Sports Social night at Empire?
We all just know Will would boss out any "totally not initiations because that word is banned but actually deffo still initiations" and still make it to the club intact.
Will could be a lad with the Rugby or Cricket teams and neck pints out of a pipe they found while Kate can comfort her new Netball soc besties that are crying over their ex in the loos. We just beg that they bring back Empire VIP Cards by royal decree, giving back the 50p Jaegerbombs, a true cause worth fighting for.
All of these fun-filled Cov activities should be just about enough to teach Kate and Will about the future city of culture when they visit on the 16th January. But they'll never know it as well as us.