Here are the biggest Zoom lecture fails from Cardiff students

your mic is on btw

We’ve all been there: double checking that our mic is off before turning to our mates and saying something controversial, and covering our cameras just in case the video goes on mid-nap. Online lectures truly are a risky game. We asked students what their nightmare stories over Zoom have been, and for some of you? We’re crying too.

Personally, some of these things are great motivators to attend a lecture, don’t really wanna miss out on what we’ll all be laughing about for the week. I need the entertainment at this point, and it’s only day two of lockdown.

“Someone called another student a ‘dumbass’ and didn’t realise her mic was on, she used her name and everything”

Snapchats were taken, memes were made, and formal apologies were emailed around to the entire year. Feel awful for the student being called a “dumbass” and equally as awful for the student who said it. At this point, do you just hit ‘leave meeting’, grab a tub of ice cream and scream into the void? Or do you schedule that for an hour later over 2-4-1 cocktails?

“A course-mate was still nicknamed ‘Coke Addict’ from our last group zoom in lockdown”

Can play it off as a soda addiction? I can picture it now, the lecturer asking, ‘Coke Addict, what was your take on consumption problems in today’s society?’. I’d drop out now tbh.

“This girl was speaking, she excused herself and then switched her video off and just yelled ‘you pieces of shit'”

Oh no. Do you even attend The University of Zoom Uni something similar happens to you? Classic rookie mistake, switching the video off but keeping your mic on. Do better guys.

“Our lecturer has pre-recorded all of his lectures so he just shares his screen and then leaves the room. The first time he did, one of the students posted in the chat box ‘Where he at tho?'”

At this point we’re all just wondering why we’re even turning up for our early morning lectures. Just send us the video and go. Please. If they don’t have to be there, then why do we?

“In my first lecture a guy said, ‘this is fucking shit’ not realising his mic was on”

Look, we all feel this emotion approximately every two minutes in a Zoom lecture… but actually saying it?! That gives off some real big dick energy. Honestly, we salute you.

“A boy had his background as the PornHub casting couch”

Well, at least you only recognise it if you know exactly where it’s from, right? Detty pigs.

Is that what I think it is?

“Someone started changing without realising their camera was on”

Seriously? Just get changed before the zoom meeting starts, it’s like tempting fate this one. Like bringing your phone in the bath, what do you think is gonna happen?

Tip #1: Always check that your video is switched off. Always.

“Our lecturer had a washing machine delivered and then started shouting at the delivery man”

What a throwback to when you were around your friends’ place and the family started fighting. Do you pretend it didn’t happen? Awkwardly look away? Truth is, you learn a lot about your lecturers when they’re doing lectures at home. Normally, you just learn that they speak to their dog like a baby, or they have some really embarassing art on display. But who shouts at a delivery man in a pandemic dude?

“Someone’s name was ‘Lil Dicky’ and the lecturer pointed it out”

So many questions on this one. One of the very few times I’d enjoy being a lecturer is being able to call a student Lil Dicky. It’s so much worse when they actually call you out on it, isn’t it?

“Called my lecturer ‘Daddy’ without realising my mic was still on”

Oh. My. God. What do you do to cover that one up? Start singing ‘Daddy Cool’? Some people cry about calling their teachers ‘Mum’ but this is definitely worse. Nothing quite like the whole course knowing you find your lecturer attractive. Now everyone knows your sexual fetishes and there’s no denying it. I’d just change course now if I were you.

Oh god, kill me now. Did anyone hear that? Guys, was my mic on?????

“A boy accidentally turned his camera on while in his boxers”

Some of us attend our lectures impeccably dressed, others roll out of bed and throw a dressing gown on, and some? Just your underwear. To be fair, you are at home. Just making ourselves comfortable, right? Nothing like a bit of eye candy when you attend a Zoom lecture in the morning.

“Someone asked a lecturer, who used to work for NASA, if the moon landing was real”

“But the shadows weren’t even real”.

“Was talking for like five minutes before I realised I was on mute”

Can’t lie, it has happened more times than I’d like to admit. It’s like, when we want the mic on, it’s off, and when we don’t, absolutely DO NOT, it’s right there switched on.

“My lecturer played a recorded lecture and, forgetting his mic was on, started vacuuming”

I did not get out of bed for this. We’ve all got household chores to do, Mike, but give it an hour would you? The audacity.

I might as well have slept in.

And there you have it, some of the biggest zoom lecture fails to happen to students since lectures started up – hasn’t even been a month and we’ve already got content. At least now we can rest assured knowing we’re not alone with all the embarrassment.

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