Fire up your PlayStations: This is what a virtual Cardiff Freshers’ Week would look like

You better invest in some speedy WiFi

4 years ago

Freshers’ Week is a universal thing, we know, but a Cardiff Freshers’ Week is a whole different kettle of fish. I mean, as they say in different unis up and down the UK, Cardiff students live and breathe their uni. So obviously, we won’t let any Freshers’ Week pass by without a real good time. Covid has ruined enough things, from our teaching schedule to our perfectly good Woks being thrown in the bin, so we’re putting our foot down.

Boys and girls of Cardiff, we present to you what a virtual Cardiff Freshers’ Week would look like. So grab your laptops, choose your Zoom backdrop and let the Freshers’ Week commence.

Forget the nights-out because your Taly pres would stay just that, ‘pres’

We all love a good Taly pres session, right? Rounding up your flatmates to head over to House 22 where the girl you met in lectures yesterday invited you for a Pryzm-inspired flat party. The thing you’ll be missing out on is the frantic taxi arranging when you realise it’s raining outside (obviously) and Uber have doubled their prices.

None of that will be needed because the clubs and bars will still be shut and Taly is your new club night. Covid doesn’t care if you’re all squished like sardines in the 8-person kitchen which is definitely more suited to 8 kids, not 8 adults. Oh well, whack on a playlist and drink some vodka, you’ll soon get used to it.

The Taf’s Thursday night quiz would be a Facebook Live job

It’s up there with one of the best last-minute plans you will ever do at uni. The gin is £3, the nachos are cheap as, and you’ll definitely grab some VKs while you’re there. Oh wait, it’s Virtual Freshers’ Week, better pick up your own crate of VKs in big Tesco and prop your phone up on the kitchen counter.

CUFC trials would be held over FIFA

Taly astro is normally flooded with trials for all different sports teams during Freshers’ Week, including CUFC – not this time boys and girls. If a Cardiff Virtual Freshers’ Week were to strike, then you better dust off your PS4 remote, because FIFA will be your territory to show off your skills. Not only are your football skills put to the test, but they’ll even have a chance to see what your temper is like – keep it calm, keep it cool and whatever you do, do not kick off at that 10-year-old on the other side of the computer.

Awkward Zoom seminars would be a thing of the future, not the past

It was such a wonderful feeling logging out of your final Zoom seminar the other day, wasn’t it? That awkward tension of speaking over someone because of the WiFi lag, or accidentally clicking the thumbs up button for the message chat. Well, sorry to burst your bubble but Zoom seminars would carry on for months and months and the awkwardness just wouldn’t go away. Better sharpen up your social skills as well as your tech skills.

Initiations will take the form of ‘Neck and Nominates’

Freshers dread the word ‘initiations’ whereas third-years can’t wait to get to Lidl and prep all of the alcohol for the social. Those days are over, my friend because ‘Neck and Nominates’ would become the new initiations. A shot of gin, a spoonful of sugar or salt (or both) and definitely some raw eggs – we don’t know which would be worse actually.

Just Dance will become the norm for Dance societies’ auditions

Have you always danced, even since you were little? Dreamt of making it to Cardiff’s FAD society? Well, call your mum for that missing Wii remote because Just Dance is your new stage. Flaunt your skills to ‘Hey-Ya’ or Gwen Stefani’s ‘What You Waiting For’ banger, but whatever you do, stay away from ‘Rasputin’ or your failed audition will haunt you for the rest of your uni life.

Foam parties in your Taly flat with Pryzm providing tunes on an IG live

We’re back in the ol’ Taly flat again because that’s where 99.9% of your Virtual Cardiff Freshers’ Week would be. But you’re missing those crazy foam parties in Pryzm aren’t you? Don’t fret, Pryzm promised on FB they’d offer some live DJ and banging tunes over on IG at 10pm so the music is sorted. You’d scoured the internet and YouTube to see how to make your own foam and boom, a DIY foam party in your Taly flat – who needs a normal Freshers’ Week anyway?

Take your boozy Zoom into the toilet with you and your girls can still compliment your outfit x

We’ve all done it and we all love to do it. Every club night involves 4 girls in one cubicle and DMC’s for an hour at least. Sadly, with clubs closed, we wouldn’t be able to make new friends by complimenting outfits or empowering a girl whose boyfriend just broke up with her. How do you fix this? Get boozy on Zoom and take your phone to the bathroom with you, that way your girls are still having lovely drunk convos with you AND you have priority over the loo – win win.

Ok so a Virtual Cardiff Freshers’ Week may not happen, or it could well be waiting for us in September, who knows? But what we do know is that there is some inspiration out there if it does happen, and your Taly flat is so much more than a flat. It’s a brunch-spot, come lecture hall, come clubbing destination and you better befriend the silverfish early on.