Listen up, here is everything you need to know before moving into a house with lads

Prepare yourself for the worst

4 years ago

So you’ve decided to get a second year house with only lads and you’re probably wondering what you’ve gotten yourself in for. Here’s a run down of the highs and the lows of living with the other half of the population, and the trials and tribulations you’ll face throughout the next year of your life.

You’ll meet an array of different girlfriends

One of the boys has just come back from his first date with a bird that he hasn’t stopped banging on about. Next thing you know she’s now a part-time resident in the house. You bump into her in the kitchen, see her on the way to the shower and you both eventually become friends.

Six months later you find out they’ve broken up and the secondary heartbreak kicks in. Can you be friends when your loyalties lie with your housemate? What happens when you bump into each other at YOLO? Your housemate had finally proven himself useful for once and he’s ruined it. Selfish tbh.

Introducing them to the girls is always eventful

You’ll become an AirBnB super host to one night stands

Need some micellar water to remove your winged eyeliner after Juice? We’ve got your back. Don’t wanna run to your 9am in your dress from the night before? Sorted. Here’s a t-shirt that hasn’t worn in a year (probably won’t get it back). You’ll meet an array of different girls throughout your time living with boys, eventually they will all blend into one. However, lads don’t take for granted that our selfless actions as the only girl housemate keeps the world of one night stands turning for another day.

They’ll complain about group pics but will be the first the ask you to Airdrop them

You’ll become more forgiving towards your boyfriend

Falling out with your boyfriend on a regular means that you turn to your girls for advice. But having lads as your housemates gives you a whole new bunch of questions: Have you thought about it from his perspective? Umm no. Maybe he meant it like this? Yeah true. And before you know it your feelings of rage and anger have been replaced with those of tranquillity. Guessing seeing things from a boys perspective really does help. Who knew?

You owe them for keeping your relationship intact and inner psycho suppressed

All of your food will go missing

Remember that fresh tub of Ben and Jerry’s you left in the freezer for yourself as a treat? It will be yours no longer. That cake your mum made for you? Yeah that’s been eaten too. Those chicken nugs you bought and were looking forward to after your night out? Too slow, they’re gone. RIP to all the food that’s been and gone as a result of your hungry housemates.

There’ll be no leftover Christmas dinner guaranteed

You’ll have the best dance offs on nights out

If there’s anyone who gives less of a shit about what they look like on a night out, it’s the boys. There is no time to top up your lip gloss when you’re busting moves on the dance floor. Even on the most rammed SU nights these killer moves cannot be sacrificed. Can’t find space? No worries, your boys will clear one.

Don’t mind me just getting in on the DMC

You’ll be able to sink a pint faster than any of your girlfriends

If you think you’re heading to The Woody to do a boomerang of a Pornstar Martini, you couldn’t be more wrong. Unless you’re drinking a pint, you can’t sit with us; even dark fruits is frowned upon. You’ll also double your alcohol tolerance as a result of having to drink faster than the those sped up Panopto lectures.

Occasionally they’ll drink a pitcher

The brutal honesty

Unlike the girls who bring you down gently when that blue pleather skirt you’re not too sure about doesn’t look great, the boys will plummet any expectations of pulling off questionable fashion choices. Wanna wear an oversized blazer to copy your favourite insta-blogger? No, you look like a teacher. That purple block colour dress you thought looked great? Apparently you look like a grape. Trying a new colourful eye look from your James Charles palette? Take it off you can’t go out with them looking like a clown. They will make you thick-skinned when it comes to criticism, honesty is the best policy we suppose.

To the disappointment of the boys the grape dress was worn

Ultimately, there’s the good, the bad and the ugly, but you wouldn’t change them for the world. They’ll drag you down, crumble any traces of self-esteem you ever had but if you don’t wake up every morning with a six-pack from laughing your head off, you’re honestly doing it wrong. They’re a bunch of pricks but the most loyal, hilarious pricks you’ll ever come across.

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