Everyone in Torquay has a bitter-sweet relationship with Park Lane

Don’t deny it, you all love the big chair


Park Lane. It's stood the test against time in Torquay, through many clubs leaving us, Park Lane has always been there. But, not everyone loves it, and by the age of 21 you are probably sick of it. However, that doesn't stop us all from ending up there every Saturday night.

You may love it, you very well may hate it, but either way you will most likely be peer pressure to go there this weekend.

The hierarchy of rooms

Everyone has their favourite floor in Park Lane, whether that be main room, Martini club or R&B room. Like the rest of us, you probably started out loving bottom floor, and then slowly made your way up the ladder of the rooms until the only place you'll find us will be in Martini, and even a stretch at that.

Main room is all fun and games until it's 2am, you're sobering up, can't afford another double vodka red bull and all you want is a Chicken Land's chips and your bed. This is the moment you decide that you definitely need to leave, but how on earth are you going to get past the sea of 18 year olds?

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See you Saturday hun xo

Seeing absolutely everyone you know

Who needs a school reunion when you can literally go to Park Lane on a Saturday, or any day of the week for that matter, and see EVERY SINGLE PERSON EVER. Although this can mean you see old friends and have a quick catch up in smokers, it also means that you will most definitely run into your ex and that lad you shagged two weeks ago. Guaranteed you've seen your old school teachers too.

VIP Booths

Okay so, this is a random one, but we all know someone that will buy a booth alongside the most expensive vodka and cradle it like a new born baby. Yes, this is cringe as fuck and on behalf of us all, remember you're in Torquay hun, not Ocean Beach x

The only good thing about being 'invited' into a booth is finally getting to sit down; heels are no fun when you're used to going out in trainers when you're at uni.

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We see you, trying to dance near the DJ…

THAT karaoke booth

Being able to rent out a room to do karaoke on a night out is definitely not everyone's cup of tea, but for the ABBA fan in us all, this is a dream come true. So, you might hate going out in Park Lane but no one will judge if you wanna go sing your heart out to Dancing Queen.

Making an absolute fool of yourself

Most importantly, it has to be said that every single one of us has made a fool out of ourselves at Park Lane. Whether it's falling down the stairs, deciding to buy 20 jager bombs for people you definitely do not know, or trying to chat up every singleton you see.

Every one of us has done it and we all mutter to ourselves 'I am definitely not going out to Park Lane next weekend'. Don't kid yourself, you will be there.

THAT Chair

Don't even try to deny it, you have all definitely Instagrammed yourself in *that* chair. For some reason there is always someone sat in it with a huge queue of people waiting to sit in it. Why you ask? Absolutely no clue, but everyone bloody loves it.

All in all, you can diss Park Lane and pretend you hate it but we can put good money on the fact that you will be there on the weekend. You will spend another Saturday complaining about the queues, the entry, the drinks.

And for the newly 18-year-olds who are hitting Park Lane, please remember that we were you once and we know you think Park Lane is your entire life. But please, for the love of God, move out of the way when we are trying to get through. Sincerely, everyone, ever.