Let’s face it: We all have a love-hate relationship with Snobs in Birmingham

No matter how hard you try to hate it


Many clubs exist in Birmingham but for some reason, people just can't avoid going to Snobs at least once in their lives or when they're back home from uni.

Some say it's one of the best nights of their lives, but we all know the real truth behind Snobs; it is notoriously gross. The only possible good thing is the famous Snobs wall (wonder how many pictures there are in front of it).

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The smiles disappeared by the end of the night…

The name is enough to put anyone off

"Snobs". It may sound like a group of posh people who have more money than sense but, in reality, it describes possibly the dingiest club in Birmingham. It's been around for god knows how many years and STILL someone decided the name was a good idea. Erm really?

It's been going since before we were born

Talking of years, this club was popular when our parents were 18 years old. When mentioning that your 18th will be spent in Snobs for the first time, your parents will undoubtedly say "why would you ever go there?"

I was sure they had mistaken it for another relic of their time – how sorely mistaken I was.

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Lads lads lads

The dance floor is practically a swimming pool of alcohol

Not only do you have to basically rugby tackle people to move around the club BUT you also have to watch where you're stepping as the floor is essentially a pool of drink thanks to everyone dropping theirs all the time. VK, vodka and coke, beer – you name it, it is definitely on the floor. Navigating your way through Snobs is hard enough without wondering if tonight's the night that spillage is lickage.

You feel a bit like a tin of sardines

The trip to the bar and the dance floor is a real fight as the club is filled to the brim with people.

If the heat wasn't enough, it's the lack of room. Trapped like sardines, you can no longer dance to your heart's content to 'Mr Brightside' for fear of ramming your elbow into some poor girl's face.

Picture the coffin trials on I'm a Celebrity, the ones where you are trapped with your worst possible fears invading your space. That, my friends, is how Snobs makes you feel – dying to be released.

If you thought that during the night Snobs would empty out, then do I have news for you. The rooms are built to resemble that of a doll's house. The smoking area can barely hold cigarettes let alone the smokers to go with them, and the actual music rooms mean you are pushed up against the wall, just about moving your arms to whatever music the DJ decided was "good" to play.

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I've never seen anyone so happy to be in a squished crowd

The music is on replay, and not in a good way

Speaking of the music, it is dire. On a single night out, it feels like 'Old Town Road' is played five times. Five. Times. It's either Indie classics or music which is better suited to Reading/Leeds festival than a dingy club in Birmingham.

If you're going to have decent music, don't repeat it again and again?Surely people must stop dancing after the second time of hearing it.

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These two are clearly loving Snobs

Although Snobs has its faults, you can't deny that it has some of the cheapest drinks in Birmingham (£2 Jagerbombs saving my bank account once again) and as long as you're with your mates, it's a class night regardless what happens.

No matter how much you say no, you'll always find yourself being dragged back to this diamond in the rough.

Feature Image Credit – Jonathan Morgan/Snobs Nightclub