Here’s everything you need to do to become a rugby lad: a guide for girls
Beers, banter and more beers
Ah the Cardiff rugby lad, a fuckboy as old as time. We love to hate them and hate to love them. They entice us in their chinos and blue shirts, week in and week out in the SU. If you can't pull them, then why not try to be them? Here's a handy guide to help you on your way.
Watch rugby like your life depends on it
This is a fairly obvious one, but you should know exactly when teams are playing; Wales, England, Italy, the lot. Times and dates included. Be in Gassys, get to the front, pint in hand, watching the game.
Go the SU every single Wednesday
Goes without saying that a true rugby boy never misses an SU Wednesday. They're out in force every damn week in their chinos, shirts and ties so get your hands on the costume and do the same.
Get photos of yourself with an injury
You know so you look manly and tough, that's what girls go for, right?
Take snapchats in the gym so everyone knows you're there
If there's no evidence, it didn't happen. You should go to the gym, or at least snapchat yourself in the gym, at least five times a week. Maybe twice on some days.
Have chicken and rice for dinner
Maybe with broccoli if you're really treating yourself. Protein and carbs in every meal. It's quick and simple, just like rugby boys in bed.
Take a protein shake everywhere you go
Gains are essential, no gains without protein. It's only logical to have your protein shake on you at all times. You don't necessarily have to be drinking it but get it out in lectures so everyone at least thinks you've been to the gym.
Wear your kit at every opportunity
The gym, socials, lectures. Every chance should be taken, how else will people recognise you? Wear the chinos and tie combo or the trackies combo or even be a full kit wanker. All of these combos are acceptable and should be worn at all opportunities.
Drink pints and only pints
Okay not in the SU but at all other times, you should have a pint in hand. The Taf, Vulcan, pres, the library. You name it, a pint should be within arms reach. If you're feeling really sneaky, put it in a protein shake bottle and pretend it's apple juice.
Are you even a lad if you haven't necked two VKs in one go? This is the party trick of a rugby boy and should be practiced until it is perfected.
Make it onto MCM
The day you appear on CURFC's MCM is the day you can call yourself a rugby boy. If the boys think you're MCM imagine how many girls think you are.
And there you have it, a guide on how to be a true Cardiff Uni rugby lad. Follow those steps and you'll be right at home in your chinos in no time.
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