Everyone you’ll meet in Live Lounge smoking area
No, I don’t have a fu*king lighter
When the inevitable question ‘Live Lounge?’ arises, it is always met with agreement, because it’s free entry after all. There are some things you can always guarantee, though: ‘Mr Brightside’ will play a thousand times; someone will slip on the sticky remnants of VK on the floor and fall off the stage, and one of your friends will spend the entire evening fighting off an old man named Clive.
And that’s not all. Here is a run down of the Motley Crue you will undoubtedly stumble upon in the infamous smoking area – and let’s face it – we’ve all met these guys at some point…
The two drunk girls deciding which of the display wedding dresses they would choose
A choice between the lesser of two evils. This is not a game you'd be playing sober. I mean, you don't even have a boyfriend.
The rowdy one arguing with the bouncers to get their equally rowdy friend let back in
Chill out, hun.
The girl with no lighter
'Anyone got a light?'
The girl who asks for a filter… And then asks you to roll her cig *Facepalm*
Who even are you? I did not spend the entirety of my late teens learning the art of rolling to satisfy your drunken cravings. Go and buy some straights.
The guy saying 'Fair play' loads
'What do you study?'
'Ah fair play! Got a lighter?'
'Fair play then. Come here often?'
*Passes lighter back*
'Ah fair play.'
And so it continues.
The mess who declares her love for everyone
We have all been this girl. She will run up to you, throw her arms around you like a long lost friend before slurring: 'Canlahavaslicgarette?' You can bet your bottom dollar you've never laid eyes on her before. Upon agreeing, she will drunkenly inform you that you're now best friends, before you make you way back inside to never see her again in your life.
The freezing friend
Shout out to these heroes. They will hold your bag whilst you roll and keep you company even though they have never touched a cigarette in their life and really want to get back to Mr Brightside.
Love you guys.
The chain-smoker who hates the music
This guy prefers Gwdihw or Clwb Ifor Bach but has been dragged to Live Lounge for a housemate's 21st birthday night out. Guaranteed to spend the entire night fantasising about the aftermath of chips and curry sauce, whilst avoiding the annoying girl who can't roll at all costs.
The homeless guy asking for change
I literally spent all my money on £1 tequila shots and now I feel like a bad person.
The couple playing tonsil tennis in the shadows
You guys are the worst – but at least you won't have the lighter scrounger approaching you every ten seconds when her cig goes out in the rain. Tactical.
That girl you sat next to in your seminar last semester whose name has escaped you
This is an awkward one. Was it Kate? Catherine? Katie? Do I even say hello? Just smile and nod in her direction and avoid eye contact all costs.
The 'I'll give you 50p for a straight' guy
If you've got so many fifty pence pieces to throw around at everyone all night, then why don't you throw them over the counter at Spar and get your own damn cigarettes you irritating drone.
The gap yah
Two white girls with dreadlocks and tiny elephant tattoos who both miraculously 'found themselves' whilst on their two month long trip to all of the commercialised parts of Thailand. They're sure to be comparing friendship bracelets their travel sisters made them and talking about how 'at one' they feel with themselves, in Live Lounge smoking area.
So there you have it, all the types of people you will meet in the Live Lounge smoking area. Mostly annoying dweebs – but let’s face it – we have all needed help at some point.
Some of the firmest friendships are forged in the smoking area, and what better way to consolidate your newfound friendship than by twosing a cig or dancing your hearts out to Feed ‘Em to the Lions?