Literally what the fuck is British halloween? An American student speaks out

Halloween is a beloved holiday and tradition for many, from pumpkin carving to trick-or-treating. But somehow, when it made its way over to British shores, it turned into a sloppy, drunken mess. The best part about a British Halloween is the costume parade of shame the morning after.

All the "creative" hybrid costumes

Slutty cat costume? Sure why not. Skeleton costume? Sounds just fine. But why do Brits throw that all together and add fake blood and white contact lenses to it?? What is that supposed to be? A slutty skeleton cat that got hit by a car and turned into a zombie?! Would you like a witch's broom with that?

Behold. The zombie clown cheerleader.

Half the people don't even dress up for Halloween

Fake blood and a bit of face paint doesn't count as a costume. The second you step into a crowded club it's going to sweat off and everyone knows it. Americans LIVE for Halloween, it's the one night they can be whoever they want! For some reason half the British population decides they're happy just being a bloody version of themselves.

There's pretty much nothing else to do besides drinking and clubbing

In the States, shameless adults go trick-or-treating every year but that clearly isn't a thing here, even for the kids. Not only that but decent haunted houses and mazes are impossible to find and there are no crazy frat parties to attend. Instead, the British turn to their favourite tradition – getting paralytic in nightclubs. Halloween's pretty much an excuse to dress a bit sluttier than normal and get extra messy on a night out. But no one even bothers going out if Halloween falls on a weekday!

RIP pumpkin carving

The lack of jack-o-lanterns outside of British homes is truly depressing. To be fair, if you live in a student house, your pumpkin creation would get smashed to pieces by a rowdy group of rugby boys as soon as you place it outside.

Why are the Christmas decorations going up in October

It just feels wrong walking through the city centre on Halloween night as the streets and shops are beginning to get covered in Christmas lights and decorations. It's October, at least wait until mid-November, it's way too soon and y'all know it. Put up some cobwebs and giant spiders and stop with this madness.

I know we're all excited for Christmas but come on, let's give Halloween a fair chance first. Throw a house party, go knock on your neighbor's door for candy or just put together a proper costume this year. Whatever you do, either do it right and put in a bit more effort or don't do it at all.