Btw here’s what your Cardiff takeaway choice says about you

None of this is made up


It's 3am and you're on the way home after another big night in Cardiff. A green fluorescent stain from that VK that was spilled on your new top lights up the darkness of Cathays. And at that very moment, a cry that can never be mistaken will be made by your tummy. CHIPS. But where from? Mamas, Fattoush, Khans? All have their merits, but only one is going to be your sexy date for the night.

You never thought this decision would define who you are but unfortunately, much like the sorting hat from Harry Potter, the choice your belly makes definitely defines who you are.

Decisions decisions

Decisions decisions

Mama's – Sweetheart

Some would argue, Mama's is a true Cardiff legend. A real all-rounder- pizza, kebabs, chicken, even a cheeky cheesy garlic bread baton. And much like the name, anyone who chooses Mama's is going to be a real sweetheart. They'll look after you when times get bad. They'll pick you you with a superior range of sauces for when you get down. And even if you're lost in the foggy world of dissertation stress, they'll offer you something you didn't even know they had. Aww.

Fattoush – The innocent one

Let's be honest, Fattoush is only visited by Freshers. No one in their right mind would walk all the way to Fattoush from Cathays. Though, some would argue that very few places offer the variety of food Fattoush does, served up in a traditional Lebanese fashion to very drunk 18 year olds. But like every fresher that walks in, there is an innocence in the eye of those who go here, without the knowledge of the adventures that lay ahead in Cathays. Enjoy my friends, you have so much more to learn.

T&A – The person who just loves chilling out

Now from the outside T&A may seem like your standard kebab shop and you could be forgiven for that. Your classic sauces, a cheeky selection of different types of kebab meat, and as many wings as you could want. But what makes T&As special is those red thrones they have. A table and chair to allow you to feast in comfort. Everyone loves chilling out and a sit down after a big night, never better than at T&As.

Khan's – lovable

Like that relative who it takes ages to visit, Khan's is on the other side of town and you're only really going to visit Khany boy if you live on the North side of Cathays. Kind hearted, charming, and always topped with salt and vinegar, the people of Khan's Kingdom will always welcome you with open arms. As long as it's before 2am on a weekday…

Woodville Fish Bar – suspicious

Now forgive me if I am wrong, but I've never seen a larger menu than in Woodville Fish Bar that relatively goes unused. Everyone just gets chips, maybe a fish, maybe a sausage. It's like some sort of secret. As for the people who venture here, what are you hiding? And why does no one want to find out more? *Puts on inspector glasses.*

Dominos – absolute baller

Anyone who orders Dominos on a day that isn't Tuesday has to be a baller. But, like the Rock in Ballers, I respect that. You know what you want, and you want a garlic and herb dip. Nice.

Chicken Cottage – the guy who doesn't take any nonsense

Either you're like me and need chicken to survive, and are slightly allergic to normal food or you are a gainz machine. Either way you're here for a reason. And that reason is chicken. You know what you want in life, and you know how you're gonna get it. Right now it's in the form of breaded and fried poultry cuts, but tomorrow it's the world. Go get em' tiger.

The Burger Guy outside the SU – The person who's pulls the person right next to them

I mean he's right there, it would be rude not to.

Family Fish Bar – the 'family' man

A friend? No, family. It's in the name. This person will treat you right. They may be a bit rough around the edges, but you know that they'll have a picture of you up on their wall and that's enough isn't it? The best part is knowing it'll never change, and that's the comfort isn't it. That's all you want in life. To be able to return home, in whatever state you're in and be accepted. Hey they say you can't pick family, but here you can.

Is anyone else like proper hungry now?