Dump your boyfriend now because being single at uni is so much better

Long distance trains? No thanks

The inevitable question crossing every fresher’s mind – to dump or not to dump.  The answer is dump, and I am going to tell you why.  I came to Uni with a boyfriend and I can confirm you should not do the same. They are a drag, you’ll realise they’re not that attractive, and you didn’t even like them in the first place.  This will be realised within a week. Believe me, the distance just really isn’t worth it.

By the end of this article, you will be writing your dumping speech. Thank me later.

New people, new fitties, new boyfriend

When you come to University you will meet so many people in a short space of time and with this comes new crushes.  These new crushes will motivate you to go to your lectures just so you can stare at the Rugby boy’s back for 50 minutes.  Would you be able to do this if you have a boyfriend? Not without feeling guilty.

Can I stare at your back please?

A different dude for every mood

The great thing about being single is that you can have a different boy for different moods. Rather than arguing with your boyfriend and having no one, you can argue with one guy and just call another. Ideal? Without a doubt.

Tinder

Oh, Tinder how we love you.  There is nothing quite like chatting to someone only to see them in the SU the following Wednesday.  Guaranteed pull? I think so. Do not miss out on this opportunity.

Regularly paying for trains

No doubt you will travel the lengths and widths of the country to visit your partner.  Why not just dump them and spend that money on that new top or the extra shot?  I cannot think of a reason not to save £50 a month.

And you can shag who you want when you want

Don’t wait two weeks for your partner to come visit, shag when you want. I am not encouraging you to cheat, I am encouraging you to dump him. Entirely different ball game. Use a condom though.

Real-life Prince Charming

It’s way more fun

Everyone knows single girls have more fun. It is a fact as clear as the sky is blue. Why deny yourself the fun of being single?Trust me, during Freshers’, Halloween and Varsity, being single will only be a pain in the arse.

TOUR TOUR TOUR

Do not go on tour with a boyfriend. I repeat do not go on tour with a boyfriend. He will not appreciate your drunken pics of you and the rugby boys nor will he appreciate the inevitable tour proposal. Avoid any awkward conversations after you necked someone and just dump them now. Thanks.

Will u marry me even though I have a boyfriend?

Food

I have never understood meal for 2. That is enough food just for me thanks. One tiny dessert between two? No way Jose. I don’t share food and why should you? You shouldn’t because you shouldn’t have a boyfriend. DUMP HIM.

Free Drinks

If you’re near to entering your overdraft then you can’t afford that next tequila. Oh wait is that a rich looking guy I spy? It is. Flirt, you get that drink. With a boyfriend, you don’t get that drink. Simple.

New city, new you

Uni is the time to change things up, that includes you. Your boyfriend is dragging you down. He doesn’t like your new dungarees, your new scrunchie or even your new friends and it’s holding you back. Don’t let him dictate that, you do you. Be single.

Relationships require effort, attention and time. Three things that you won’t have. Sack them off and focus on you. Uni is a sea of dick, cast away gals.

 

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