Riot vans broke up a rogue 16th birthday party, and we wept for the youth of today

Because clearly your childhood wasn’t this lit

Large numbers of police vehicles descended on an out of hand sixteenth birthday party at Cathays Youth and Community Centre on Saturday.

After word of the event spread on social media, gatecrashers flowed in, with one observer claiming to see “literally hundreds of kids”.

Yusuf, a second year History and Economics student, described the scene as “a bit chaotic,” owing to the presence of “at least 12 police cars.”

According to police, the initial response was at around 6pm, only shortly after a marathon afternoon of Tracy Beaker sequel The Dumping Ground had come to its conclusion on CBBC.

Another passer-by, second year Politics, Religious Studies & Welsh student Rory, described how he heard “dogs being used by the police barking loudly.”

And as for the kids, “some of them were shouting that they thought someone had been arrested but I didn’t spot anyone in a police car or being handcuffed.”

Rather than heading home, large remnants of the group decided to break curfew and menace Cathays. Third year Psychology student Alice recalls seeing them as late as “around eight o’clock. The girls were wearing massive heels.”

By nine, presumably buoyed by the sugar rush from an especially sweet sixteenth, a large number of the youths had congregated by the Mackintosh pub. Their fun was swiftly broken up by a riot van.

A spokesperson for South Wales Police said: “Police were called just after 6pm after much larger than expected crowds gathered for a 16th birthday party at the premises.

“It appears that word about the party had spread on social media which led to many people just turning up without being invited.

“The situation was quickly resolved and the crowds which had gathered outside soon dispersed, after the party’s hosts decided that it should not go ahead under the circumstances.

“There were no offences.”

Sweet sixteens 1 – 0 student house parties.