Things you thought would be fun at Uni but really aren’t

Seriously, get me home


It’s easy to get excited about heading off on your own to uni. You get to eat whatever you want and you get way more freedom that you do living under your parents’ roof. But all that changes after three months, where the things you thought would be fun turn out to be your worst nightmare.

Food shopping

Something you look forward to most is shopping: getting your own trolley, pushing it around the aisles and picking up anything and everything that you want, all without anyone judging the shameful amount of instant noodles. But in reality, you’re aimlessly walking around trying to think of meals other than jacket potato or spaghetti bolognese to cook for yourself.

You have to pay 5p for a carrier bag, which you always forget to take with you, and the queues last hours with a minimum of a hundred people in front of you. At least that’s what it feels like.

Nights out

Don’t get me wrong, these are definitely fun, but the essence has disappeared. Hangovers are a hundred times worse now that you have to fend for yourself during them. Ain’t nobody gonna make that bacon sandwich and cuppa tea and bring it to you in bed; it’s all down to you now.

Leave me alone

Not only this, but you also only have your bed to escape your death. For those lucky enough to live in accommodation with sofas, you have a choice of two places to suffer. However, those unlucky ones without sofas can only curl up in one place for the day, and you’re limited to one room with only your laptop and four walls as entertainment.

Ubers

It sounds exciting, doesn’t it? Getting into a fancy car and paying the rate you’re shown rather than risking a dodgy taxi. But the convenience, the low rates, the ubiquity mean nothing when the mystery of not knowing whether your driver will be a non-stop talker or the dreaded silent speeder will make you question your loyalty with Uber forever.

Although Ubers are effortless, nothing is more annoying than when you get in and the driver starts questioning you on the route to your destination, especially during Freshers’ week when you have no idea where anything is or how to get anywhere. Because that’s the exact purpose of an Uber, right?

Money

Okay so you get your first installment and you live the life of luxury for a month; endless nights out with a McDonald’s to end, takeaways, shopping trips and generally buying things purely because you can. Your money gradually decreases until you realise that you better start budgeting for when your next installment comes through.

Suddenly, you’ve got £5 to spend a week for the next couple of months. You thought that was bad until you realise that you have a hundred people to buy Christmas presents for and the November-December period is generally one filled with anxiety, an unhealthy diet and poor life choices.

The learning

And then we get to the actual purpose of university: to get a degree. Picking a degree in something that you’re interested and passionate in certainly helps, but it certainly doesn’t make it a breeze. When the essential reading list is thrown at you, it starts to hit home how much of your life this degree will consume.

Yeah, I’m procrastinating

Two hour long lectures drag like nothing you’ve known before and group chats are buzzing all day long with constant confusion around what we’re supposed to be doing all day every day. And when you finally sit down to crack on with some work that you’re weeks behind on, anything and everything will become more appealing.

The Apple terms and conditions? Throw them at me.