Cornwall is backwards, but there’s nowhere else like it

Are you a Rowes or Philps pasties kinda person?


The beaches in Cornwall are globally recognised as being extremely aesthetically pleasing and an amazing place to spend your summer. When the beach is a five minute drive away from your house, spontaneous BBQs and trips to the beach become a regular occurrence. But other than the beautiful beaches with occasionally amazing weather, what else does Cornwall have to offer?

Late night swims

Late night swims

W.C Rowes or Philps pasties?

I’m extremely proud and privileged to be able to have a bakery on almost every street in my surrounding towns which sell the famous Cornish pasties. Philps or Rowes Bakery though, that is the Cornish debate and locals tend to take this quite seriously. People can get extreme disappointment or happiness as you express your pasty preference. But of course, when eating pasties on the Cornish coast, beware of the deadly seagulls who will swoop and steal your food.

Steve Heller and Kernow King

These Cornish comedians are absolutely adored by the Cornish; with Steve Heller’s weekly Cornish News stories and Kernow King’s ‘Camborne Maids’ song with thousands of views, Cornish stereotypes are reinforced and used at our expense. These icons are at the heart of Cornish culture and discuss how seagulls ‘won’t stop shitting on my head’ at the famous Tyacks Hotel during Trevithick Day’s or live events.

Trains

Arriving at Redruth station come with risking your life as you walk over the most dangerous looking set of stairs with the largest gaps ever. You spent your time waiting at Hayle station watching five trains in a row drive straight through and wondering if one will ever stop for you. And if you want to travel to Camborne on a Wednesday, I’m afraid that won’t happen because we all know that ‘trains don’t stop in Camborne on Wednesday’s’.

Tourist hotspots

Nope. Non-existent. There is virtually nothing fun or exciting to do in Cornwall. The Eden Project is an amazing place, don’t get me wrong, but once you’ve been that’s it – no need to re-visit. Plymouth Pavilions (I know it’s Devon not Cornwall) is the closest thing we have to host some proper decent events. Sorry, Hall for Cornwall.

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When the washed up whale was the talk of the year

In the summer of this year, a Sperm Whale pulled in a crowd of hundreds as they walked almost an hour across the beach to catch the sight. Us locals felt slight fame when Perranporth beach made national news, and couldn’t help but get excited at the sight of ITV news vans and cameras surrounding the area.

The Watering Hole

This beach bar has drawn live music events from artists such as Sigala, Wilkinson, Scouting for Girls and Toploader. As the UK’s only bar on the beach, it is popular with the locals and people from across the nation. Although there is only one, I’m sure we’d all never trade this beauty of a beach bar for multiple normal bars.

Truro’s Primark

With the opening of Cornwall’s first ever Primark in Truro earlier this month, you’d have thought the Cornish had never seen a Primark before in their lives and they’ve finally had their eyes opened to the big wide world. Finally, we won’t have to travel and hour and a half to Plymouth just to get a few cheap vest tops.