‘If Trump wins I will…’: What Twitter promised this morning
‘I’ll eat a sock and tape it’
It happened. Here’s some light relief.
People doubted Trump so much they promised to do some rather outlandish things. A tweet is by no means a binding contract, but you hope these people will be sticking to their word.
Someone’s gonna have a bad back
If Trump wins I'll carry a fridge the length of Ireland nude if Hillary wins I'll carry her nude the length of Ireland in said fridge!
— James mcguinness (@Jimzer111) October 27, 2016
But at least it won’t be permanent
If Trump wins the election I'll get a Trump tramp stamp.
— Jacob Perkins (@Perk_Perkins) October 24, 2016
These could be the new dream catcher tattoo
If Trump wins this election I'll tattoo "bigly" on my butt
— Jacey Schank (@jaceyschank) October 20, 2016
if trump wins the election I'll get a wall tattooed on me #BuildTheWall
— MakeAmericaNateAgain (@NateAnnick) October 10, 2016
Some new diet crazes are threatening to take over
If trump wins I'll shave my beard and eat it. I'll stream it live too
— Yams Casino (@DarynDupree124) October 13, 2016
Hedge fund bro Martin Shkreli teased music fans everywhere
If Trump wins, my entire unreleased music collection, including unheard Nirvana, Beatles, and of course, Wu-Tang, comes out, for free.
— Martin Shkreli (@MartinShkreli) October 27, 2016
And he’s a man of his word, talking us through his treasure trove, which apparently includes unreleased Kanye. Half one-man talk show, half musical braggadocio, this Periscope feed is a watershed moment in live streaming:
— Martin Shkreli (@MartinShkreli) November 9, 2016
Jokes aside, there’s nothing like good old-fashioned existential dread to put it all into perspective
tbh if trump wins, i'll be happy. we will all die soon, no more suffering yea boy
— aniMAE XDDDD (@jackmorridad) October 20, 2016