The Tab’s guide on what to do if Trump is elected
God help us all
Over the last year, The Donald’s rise in US politics has been astounding. From rank outsider to now one day away from Trump possibly being made President of the richest nation on the planet, building walls to grabbing women by the – (I’m not gonna say it, it’s far too demeaning and plain wrong) the man has caused controversy after controversy in his quest to “Make America Great Again”.
Donald Trump may be the scariest man to have ever set foot in America, nay the world. So with that pleasant thought in mind here’s a short guide on how to live through the next possible Dark Ages (let’s pray to God it doesn’t come to that).
Buy the fake tan industry
This one could be a long shot but perhaps stocking up on fake tan will lead to Donald melting away through lack of access?
Join a burrito folding school
Mexican food and culture are passions of the people, and if they aren’t welcomed by Mr. Trump then I’ll be certainly welcoming my ‘amigos’ with the best food this side of Cancun.
If Trump is president, we’re going to have to learn his vocabulary.
Steal all the bricks
He can’t build a wall without bricks.
Maybe get him this book?
Pray for a late bid from Michelle Obama
If all else fails, move to the Himalayas and invest in a good fake moustache.
He can’t find us there.