The Tab’s guide on what to do if Trump is elected

God help us all

Over the last year, The Donald’s rise in US politics has been astounding. From rank outsider to now one day away from Trump possibly being made President of the richest nation on the planet, building walls to grabbing women by the – (I’m not gonna say it, it’s far too demeaning and plain wrong) the man has caused controversy after controversy in his quest to “Make America Great Again”.

Donald Trump may be the scariest man to have ever set foot in America, nay the world. So with that pleasant thought in mind here’s a short guide on how to live through the next possible Dark Ages (let’s pray to God it doesn’t come to that).

Buy the fake tan industry


Think we all know the answer to this question

This one could be a long shot but perhaps stocking up on fake tan will lead to Donald melting away through lack of access?

Join a burrito folding school

Mexican food and culture are passions of the people, and if they aren’t welcomed by Mr. Trump then I’ll be certainly welcoming my ‘amigos’ with the best food this side of Cancun.


Define “Bigly”

If Trump is president, we’re going to have to learn his vocabulary.

What does it all mean?

What does it all mean?

Steal all the bricks

He can’t build a wall without bricks.

Holiday destinations?

Holiday destinations?

Maybe get him this book?

I can only imagine it be helpful

I can only imagine how helpful it will be

Pray for a late bid from Michelle Obama

Enough said.

Slay girl slay

Slay girl slay

If all else fails, move to the Himalayas and invest in a good fake moustache.

He can’t find us there.