Why everyone should experience Bingo Lingo at least once in their lifetime

Now, chances are these days if you’re not living under a rock you’ve probably heard about Bingo Lingo. Provided you actually have a circle of friends, at least one of them will be a dedicated disciple of this mecca of drunken tomfoolery and will rave about it to anyone and everyone who will listen.

Those who are in the know walk around with a certain spring in their step, their eyes gleaming with the promise of a full house, skin glowing with a healthy stein flush; you can tell just by looking at them they’ve discovered the simple magic of getting pissed and playing bingo. Those of you who have never been will scoff; how can playing bingo of all things be this amazing? Like, seriously?

I was like that once. Now, however, I know better and if you’ve got any sense then soon so will you. If you need any more convincing, here’s a list of all the reasons you should get yourself down to Depot ASAP.

You have entered hipster heaven

Pass me the red stripe

Long wooden tables, food carts housed in vintage vehicles and a tree made out of two-by-fours. The doorway into this place is basically the hipster’s pearly gates. But there’s a friendly, inclusive atmosphere here too; the dress code is casual and you’ll be greeted warmly when you inevitably have to cosy up to another group of people when sharing a table.

Pre-book a table if you can

The Depot gets pretty damn busy, and if you haven’t booked a table there’s a chance you may be left standing around looking for a corner of a bench to perch on. This was nearly the case when we went a few weeks back, but luckily we knew someone who worked there and we were given someone who had reserved an area but hadn’t turned up’s table

Right at the front too. We have no idea who you are, Rachel Colclough, but thanks

Get ready to randomly bump into someone you know

Whether it’s a friend out with their housemates, that weird kid from your seminars or that guy you pulled back in Freshers, you will undoubtedly see a familiar face. Forget Smack, Bingo Lingo is the place to be on a Friday night.

The host is high on life in the best way possible

This guy lives for bingo the way Ru Paul lives for drag. He is probably the best thing about this whole event which is saying something.

It’s all about the Steins

Mandem

 Where else can you buy a two pint Stein in Cardiff? Or even a four pint pitcher? I mean, honestly. This is the drink of choice at Bingo Lingo and only the brave will deviate. It’s definitely the best value for your money too; remember you are in hipster territory here so ale and cider are the least pricey. Plus those glasses are pretty fucking cool and you can pretend you’re at Oktoberfest instead of a warehouse in Butetown.

The music is banging

During the night you will experience a roller coaster of absolute classics and total tunes. From the Frozen soundtrack to Sandstorm to Justin Bieber, there’s something to suit everyone’s tastes. You will spill your overpriced bottle of wine (why oh why did you ditch the steins you fool) dancing on the table to Basshunter. You will fling strangers around by the arm to Cotton Eyed Joe without anyone judging you. You will regret nothing.

The prizes are insane

Literally. The prizes alone should be enough to tempt you. You will either win something totally random like a Darth Vader costume or a pack of Krispy Kremes, or something nuts like a car. Yes, you read that right. One of the top prizes was a bloody car. Another was four hundred pounds in straight up cash. Let’s be honest though, whoever won the Nerf gun set is the real winner.

Embrace the double shout

Sometimes two people will call bingo at once. If you are one of these people, prepare to fight for the prize, and for the love of god put some effort in. No matter how embarrassed you feel at having to wail a Queen song at the top of your voice or twerk like you’ve been Tasered, it’s not as embarrassing as being that person who doesn’t try at all. You will be remembered as the lamest person to ever grace the Bingo Lingo hall and the crowd will scream abuse at you all the way back to your seat.

Whatever you do, don’t make a false call

Forfeits for this crime range from having to stand on the table and down your drink to having everyone in the room pointing at you screaming “You silly bitch” with a tad more enthusiasm than is really necessary.

“You silly bitch!”

The food is divine

I have no idea what they’re called but the fried pizza pocket things are literally incredible. Get one. Trust me. You will not regret it.

The queue for the toilet puts the SU to shame 

Don’t even bother heading towards the loo during any of the breaks, you’ll spend the entire time waiting and then panic and dash back when inevitably you don’t even reach a cubicle before it starts up again. Top tip; go after a game has just started and get a friend to cross your numbers off for you when you’re gone. Just make sure you write your name in your book, ey.

What happens when you leave your book with a friend if you go to the toilet

Getting a taxi is like an unofficial Mission Impossible sequel 

Get out that door like freaking lightning and book yourself a taxi my friend, and you might not expire of old age before you can get a ride. That’s ok though because you never want to leave anyway. May as well just settle in until next week.

Because you will coming again next week.

You are one of the converted now without a doubt. After having such a brilliant time, how could you not be? After all Bingo Lingo isn’t just a night out, it’s a way of life – and what a life it is.

Love u x