People counting down to Christmas need to get a life

Stop telling me how many weeks there are to go


It all starts with that one friend sharing a picture of Buddy the Elf on Facebook. You groan, thinking “is it really that time of year again?”

Unfortunately, it is. It’s that time where people realise summer is ending, so they desperately cling to the next shred of light that enters their lives: Christmas.

These people can piss off. It’s September, for God’s sake.

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Why are we talking about Christmas when I’m still in my sunnies?

What deems this holiday worthy for people to start a count down over one hundred days before it occurs? By calculation, these sad people spend a third of their year – every year – counting down for a day that duplicates your birthday, except you have to share it with almost everyone in the world.

We also don’t want to be reminded of all the money we have to spend. People don’t need to see gifs showing how many pay-days they have left until Christmas (you better start saving!) when there are still maintenance loans to be spent at Freshers’ Week.

For no other holiday does one start a countdown so early. Halloween, Bonfire Night and even the countdown to the Autumn Internationals are skipped as if they mean nothing.

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Weirdos

Do Christmas nut-heads realise September is four months too soon for mention of this one day? This one day where your friends get you bath gels or your boyfriend gets you a slightly different Pandora charm than he got you last year.

Stop wishing your lives away on one day that only brings you materialistic presents. Sure, the food is good and you get to drink a lot, but you can do that for the hundred-odd days you’ve spent counting down to this pointless event.

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Literally WTF

Enjoy the moment you’re in now. Don’t count down until Christmas at least until it’s time to get the advent calendars out. (December 1st. The answer is December 1st.)

If you choose not to listen and still depress our timeline with your pointless countdowns, then read the headline again, and get yourself a life. Maybe you can buy yourself one for Christmas. After all, it’s only four months away.