The promoter is the archangel of university

Hovering above you, sprinkling you with Grey Goose and VIP bands


There’s a certain stigma around club promoters. We’ve all heard about “those” London promoters who turn away fat or ugly girls and charge guys over £30 for entry, and yes they are definitely dickheads. But those are for the most prestigious and expensive clubs in London. I’m talking about the promoters at uni who just want to guarantee you £2 entry to your favourite Wednesday night. They want to guarantee a banging night for all their mates, and themselves. There’s a big difference.

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We are the ones who really don’t give a shit what you wear to the club, we won’t ask you to make sure you’re “wearing heels” or “that your make-up is on fleek” because no doubt you will turn up dressed up as some kind of sea creature or a crayon for your sports social anyway. Most of us are regular students just like you, what sets us apart though, is that we get paid to make friends and party and you don’t. Is that why everyone is so bitter towards us?

Everyone needs a ticket to some kind of event during their uni experience, and if you don’t you’re doing uni wrong. Promoters are there to help you, so you aren’t the dickhead posting three hours before the event “Need 4 tickets xoxo” on the Facebook wall. We have mad connections and we know where to get you a last minute ticket so you should keep us on your good side.

Stay friends with us and bathe in a shower of free entry and drinks. The more tickets you buy from me, the more my boss likes me. The more they like me, the more free voddy we get in the VIP. And I am going to make it rain.

At the end of the day, we are just doing our job. The better we do it, the more we can do for you. So quit the hostility – just take a flyer.