How to get the attention of the New Zealand rugby team in the gym

Once you go All Black, you’ll never go back


Guess who’s been training at the uni gym? That’s right, the All Blacks.

They’ve even been seen watching the Hunger Games in the cinema, showing their more sensitive side.

Their presence has caused girls to race each other towards the gym, in the hopes of catching a glimpse of the testosterone-fuelled man mountains.

Spotted: Dan Carter greets fan number 1 after a mad one at the gym


Dan Carter meets fan number 2

In order to help these girls seem slightly less desperate, here is a crash course of how to put yourself in the spotlight during those vigorous workout sessions.

….you ok?


Sure, the gym can be a daunting place at times, but all you need is some self-assurance to get you going.

Don’t be afraid to get involved on machines such as the adductor, and throw in some grunting noises if necessary – all attention is good attention.

Make eye contact and don’t immediately avert your gaze, maybe even give a flirty smile if you’re feeling extra sexy.

Relax those thighs and spread them wide


Assert your dominance

Dan Carter doesn’t go for just a ‘nobody’, it’s up to you to take the initiative and mark your territory.

This will eliminate any competition and catch his eye – the use of foul play, if required, should be actively encouraged.

Including the haka as part of your warm up routine is a highly effective way of doing this. Not only will it gain his respect and demonstrate your potential as a mate, but also scare the balls out of anyone else who has eyes for… Dan’s balls.

Frighten and discourage the enemy.



If you want to be in the game you can’t tuck yourself away in a corner, place yourself close to the object of desire. The closer the better – guys love this.

Be bold and don’t shy away from the weights section, separate yourself from the crowd to be impressive.

Just remember, #strongisthenewskinny.

do u even lift bro


Pick your warm down carefully in order to reduce injury and increase performance.

You don’t want to be pulling a muscle or you’ll be out of play until next season.

If all else fails, adopt the downward dog position.

Position yourself strategically.

Follow all of this advice to the letter, and they might just take you for a cheeky post-workout gains meal at the snack shack.

She’s got a ticket to ride.


Winner winner, chicken dinner.

Click here to view the All Blacks gym training: