Living in halls in your first year of uni is an experience in itself. But living in Talybont is on a whole new level.

Whether you live in Taly South, the most desirable and social, or Taly North, commonly known as “Taly Bronx”, the chaos and madness is never ending, and will be sure to provide you with plenty of stories that you would rather not tell your parents.

Freshers

The start of freshers. Where cramming tonnes of randomers into the kitchen for pre-drinks becomes standard. As does propping flat doors open with Henry-Hoovers and ironing boards to welcome passer-bys and encourage them to join the party. That’s how you make friends in freshers right?

Sardines squashed into a tiny Taly kitchen, drinks are shared and friendships are established. It is here that you soon distinguish the hardy drinkers from the “quieter” freshers who are probably not going to ever come back.

You also quickly learn that your kitchen will never return to the pleasant standards of hygiene that you moved in to. In fact, the whole concept goes completely out of the window when you’re all sat on the floor at 4am eating fish fingers out of a wok.

Drinking out of sauce pans also becomes an acceptable habit, all the lovely matching kitchenware your mum bought you before uni is long gone. Besides, when you’re hungover you live in fear of drinking from a cup with the remainder of last night’s prelash, so kitchen utensils are probably a safer option anyway. 

Fire-alarms

Living in Taly you will soon become adapted to the painfully loud fire alarms that take pleasure in scaring the absolute shit out of you whenever a passing taxi driver lights a cigarette.

Setting your house’s fire alarm off will make you the least popular person since Kony. Especially when you set them off in the early hours of the morning. Expect extremely angry glares from non-goer-outers in their dressing gowns and slippers as you piss yourself with laughter.

Also expect a severe bollocking from security as you try and justify dousing a Bonsai tree in lighter fluid and setting it alight. 

It wasn’t sausages

The company

Taly consists of a diverse range of people that ultimately create its sociable reputation and party scene. The people of Taly soon become your family who you discover to be fucking crazy but still love. A lot.

But piss them off and you will know about it.

The location

On reflection, eagerly signing up to the gym at the start of the year was a tad pointless. The amount of walking you have to getting to Taly is definitely enough cardio. Since it’s a trek from everywhere owning a bike is recommended. There is however the risk of someone taking them… with our permission. On your way out for example, look at the lines of bikes dotted around Taly, don’t they look inviting.

The temptation for a casual pre-night out cycle may result in you accidentally jumping on a random bike and riding off into the night. Sadly the fun is soon cut short when security embark on a serious mission to chase and remove you from the bike. A taxi is probably a better idea

The security guards are legends

Being taken to bed by a security guard is never going to be a proud moment, especially if you’re not even getting laid. But when the security guard has just found you passed out on the shower floor flooding your room as well as the room below, you begin to understand their utility.

And wearing just a table cloth and two pillow cases due to being on an “anything but clothes” themed social doesn’t exactly soften the level of embarrassment either.

On your way home, sometimes when you’re feeling a little worse for wear accidents do happen. So if you ever dive head first into a bush by Taly court, spilling the entire contents of your bag, it’s reassuring to know that security are on hand to fish you out and escort you home.

There’s also that one security guard everyone knows from getting locked out of their flat. So bumping into him in Taly after a night in Retros is always nice, especially when your pit stop at the security office includes pizza and the obligatory trying on of high-vis jackets. And of course multiple selfies with the most legendary security guard ever.

Taly, we love you.