How to do a night at The Vaults

A DJ spinning Drum and Bass and saucers in your eyes

If you live in South Wales and fancy a grimey wobble to some beefy basslines, why not come down to Cardiff and experience the unrelenting/forgiving assault on the senses that is the Vaults.

Blinded by the lights

Located on Bute Street at the bay area of Cardiff lies an underground (literally) bank vault, converted into a haven for all those who indulge in sub-zero bass and tepid Red Stripe.

If you dare to dwell in the Vaults, you can expect to be rewarded with a high quality sound and lighting system, featuring intense strobing and lasers that make it a disorientating challenge to find your friends amidst the haze of sweat and squalor.

Friendly photo bomber

And as the temperatures start to rise, air con is limited to a desk fan gaffer taped to the ceiling, you’ll probably be thinking that you’d like to head outside for some fresh air right about now – or a rollie if you’re that way inclined. 

But first you’ll have to enjoy standing in line whilst you wait to be corralled outside by the bouncers, who are all too quick to herd you straight back in again.

The Vaults might be full of the most unattractive faces you’ve ever seen, but don’t be fooled, these are some of the most genuine and friendly people you’re likely to meet this side of the Severn bridge.

There’s never a quiet moment here. If you’re in need of a group of strangers to dance with, or some randomers to chat shit to whilst you’re waiting to pee, this is definitely the place for you.

A raver in his natural habitat

There’s even lovely people in the toilets who bombard you with perfume, and offer you a whole selection of sweets (admittedly they do try and charge you for it afterwards, but still it’s the thought that counts eh?).

If you’re feeling like you need a rest from the relentless pit of sweat and messy shape throwing, you can venture through a maze of corridors, up the stairs to a big ol’ grand looking room that resembles something spectacular, like a theatre or a ball room.

Although it’s not quite as elegant as all that – they helpfully line the floor with a plastic sheeting.

The perfect accompaniment to your night out

If you’re really lucky you’ll be able to catch a screening of Wacky Races – projected on the wall of this room for the wacky masses.

By all means expect the unexpected, regardless of what our handy guide tells you.

Anything can happen in this unique venue, so book your tickets to the next Vaults event, don your dancing shoes and most importantly have a bloody good time.

See below for a helpful and fun collage of Grime Scene Investigation’s no.1 suspect, as well as a handy vaults kit list.

Hey kids, wanna buy some magic?

A list of essential Vaults items

(note; leave your dignity at home)

  • Water bottle
  • A full pack of Wrigleys
  • Party enhancers
  • Loose fitting clothing (This is not Glam, please dress appropriately)
  • Tobacco, Rizla and ting