What to do when you don’t get onto a grad scheme

When all else fails, the Tab is here to inspire your next career move


Milkman

Father to children to who bare a less than familial resemblance and for the fairer sex everyone knows milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.

Not exactly what we meant gang…

Daytime TV star

Get an ASBO, start a fight with the neighbours and sleep with your sibling’s spouse. Who knows if you appear on Jeremy Kyle enough perhaps you’ll get your own show?

Who wouldn’t want to be these people?

Stripper

If you usually end a night out missing items of clothing, why not get paid for you time and shake it to make it.

That’s okay guys, there’s a niche for unattractive strippers too

Office assistant

Ever photocopied your bum? Welcome to the world of office assistants, ability to tell age of milk is also preferable.

Huh, it looks exactly like a bum…mental!

Reality TV star

Practice your p’s and q’s and hang out in Chelsea for long enough and you’ll rub shoulders with the MIC cast or at least walk through the back of a shot. If you’re too orange for that there’s always The Valleys or TOWIE.

Things you don’t need to be a reality TV star: a brain, the ability to make lists that are longer than two things, …