A Game Of Chants

So it’s that time of year again, the largest student sporting event in Wales, the yearly grudge match between the mighty Cardiff and…well…Swansea. With just a few days to go, athletes on both sides are preparing themselves for the big day, ensuring they will be at peak performance to take on their rivals.

But what about the spectators I hear you ask. Well they have some preparation to do too. Face paints and costumes aside, whether you’re watching the rugby or ultimate Frisbee, no doubt you’ll be needing a chant or two.

I remember my first varsity as if it were yesterday, stood on a rainy Pontcanna fields shouting about being Cardiff until I die, only for the Swansea rebuttal to be lost in the wind.

Many hours and many more pints later in the Millennium Stadium we were hit with a barrage
of abuse from the Swansea fans. Something about our sisters being our mothers and our fathers being our brothers? Clearly Swansea biology department is doing something wrong. Of course, being more creative than our counterparts are response was far more eloquent and imaginative…“Cardiff was your first choice, Cardiff was your first choice, la la la la.”

So what is it about chanting that we all love so much? Why do we find it necessary to hurl abuse at our opponents just to get behind our team? Well firstly it seems everyone has a hooligan lurking inside them, a small glint of thuggery that is easily enticed out with a few beers. An inner ruffian, that when in a crowd can make even the most prudish swear like a trooper and use gestures you’d never do in front of your mother, or was it your sister?

Secondly the wonderful simplicity of the chant means anyone can have a go. Pick a tune, think of some rhyming words and you’re away. Needless to say some are better than others. No one is impressed by just calling your opponents shit. You really need to get into their hearts and get into their heads. Anything about their star players is gold, and we’ve seen before that families are prime targets too. Take this one for example sent in by a Tab reader:

“Swansea you are illegitimate,
You ain’t got no birth certificate,
You’ve got aids and can’t get rid of it,
Swansea you are shit.”

It really has got all the bases covered, a clear attack on their family, an incurable disease and just look at the rhyme structure. What more could you want?

So with less than a week to go, I ask for the chant laureates among you to step up and do your Uni proud. How about something topical? “You’ve all got MMR” to the tune of Verdi: Rigolleto or just something downright disgusting.

Whatever it is, everyone knows chants are just a bit of fun, and I’m sure Swansea won’t take them to heart. Even if you do tell them their degree is worthless and that their dad works for yours.