The Superbowl Pub Crawl
Get your yankee doodle on for America’s biggest sporting fixture.
Tonight is the night of Superbowl XLVII and The Tab is here to help you enjoy it in the best way possible, with a pub crawl for the ages.
Superbowl viewing has two schools of thought; you either stock up on goodies and stay at home for the long haul or you go out to watch it and get bevvied. We at The Tab are fully behind the latter so whether you’re backing the Ravens or the 49ers in tonight’s game, follow our guide and you won’t even remember who’s playing.
Players meet at the host’s house, then teams are drawn from a hat. Every team has a different rule for each pub. Hit as many pubs as you like/can handle.
Arizona Cardinals – Arizona is a desert state, so it’s important for Cardinals to stay hydrated. Bring a water bottle, Cardinals must drink from that all night.
Atlanta Falcons – Falcons are birds of prey, so are Seahawks. Falcons and Seahawks must spend the night trying to sip each other’s drinks like the predators they are.
Baltimore Ravens – Ravens must do a Ray Lewis style entrance to each pub. Get pumped!
Buffalo Bills – Bills are only allowed to be called Bill all night. Extra points if you make the name stick for good.
Carolina Panthers – BIG CAT RUMBLE! Panthers must team with the Bengals as a 3 legged feline monstrosity to take on the Lions and Jaguars in drinking games in each pub.
Chicago Bears – The Bears are one of only 2 remaining founder teams of the NFL. As such, Bears can only drink old man drinks like ale or scotch.
Cincinnati Bengals – Part of the Big Cat Rumble, see the Panthers.
Cleveland Browns – Browns. What a terrible name for a team. Browns must add a shot of a brown spirit to all of their drinks.
Dallas Cowboys – Cowboys must challenge the Redskins to a drinking race in each pub. Cowboys Vs Indians!
Denver Broncos – Broncos are horses, noble steeds. Broncos must carry a fellow crawler between pubs.
Detroit Lions – Part of the Big Cat Rumble, see the Panthers.
Green Bay Packers – Packers bring a backpack full of junk food to share with everyone on the crawl. The Superbowl goes on for hours, the Packers will be your saviours.
Houston Texans – Howdy y’all, get your accent on. Texans must speak in a Texas accent all night.
Indianapolis Colts – Indianapolis is the home of the Indy 500 so Colts must pay tribute by running between pubs to secure a table. Oh and they make race car noises too. Nice and loud.
Jacksonville Jaguars – Part of the Big Cat Rumble, see the Panthers.
Kansas City Chiefs – Chiefs are in charge of the crawl, when they say it’s time to move to the next pub, get moving.
Miami Dolphins – Dolphins are at home in water, they must have some part of their body submerged in water at all times.
Minnesota Vikings – Vikings worship Thor, every drink they finish they must say “This drink, I like it. ANOTHER!”. Probably best to pack a plastic cup if you fancy throwing your glass too.
New England Patriots – Patriots are the USA’s biggest fanboys, they must sing the Star Spangled Banner before drinking commences in each pub.
New Orleans Saints – Saints are pure, alcohol is poison. Saints are banned from drinking until the last venue.
New York Giants – Giants are huge, they must drink 2 drinks in each pub rather than one.
New York Jets – The Jets have Tim Tebow, so before they drink, they get down on one knee for some Tebowing.
Oakland Raiders – Raiders don’t buy drinks, they raid them. Get minesweeping.
Philadelphia Eagles – Philly is the home of Rocky, so Eagles must pay tribute. Every time they finish a drink they must shout “Yo Adrian! I did it!”.
Pittsburgh Steelers – Steelers don’t buy drinks, they steal them. Get minesweeping.
Saint Louis Rams – The Rams was the team of Hall Of Famer, Elroy “Crazy Legs” Hirsch. Rams must emulate him with a variety of strange walks between pubs. Everyone else gets to point and laugh at you…
San Diego Chargers – Chargers must pay homage to San Diego’s best ever resident, Ron Burgundy. They must get an Anchorman reference into dealing with a barman.
San Francisco 49ers – The 49ers have a habit of winning with 4th quarter comebacks. 49ers must wait for everyone else to be close to finishing their drink, before downing their own in a spectacular comeback.
Seattle Seahawks – Seahawks are birds of prey, so are Falcons. Falcons and Seahawks must spend the night trying to sip each other’s drinks like the predators they are.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Buccaneers are pirates, they can only talk like a pirate all night.
Tennessee Titans – Titans pay homage to Tennessee’s most loved export, Jack Daniels. That’s all they drink. All night.
Washington Redskins – Redskins must challenge the Cowboys to a drinking race in each pub. Cowboys Vs Indians!
Lastly, one rule for everyone. If Beyonce pulls a Janet Jackson at halftime and flashes a nipple, firstly rejoice, secondly down.