panic

The degrading dilemma

NICK BRITTLEBANK leads us through some of the potential pitfalls of taking the time off

Lauren Chaplin: Week 1

LAUREN CHAPLIN has left her column to the very last minute. General panic, and the thought of Hunter Allen, leads her to pity-blowjobs and the re-enactment of a coffee break.

Giant Rats Ready to Ravage Cambridge Residents

Giant mutant rats measuring up to 18 inches long have this week been terrifying residents across Cambridgeshire.

Madame TeaLeaves: Week 1 Horoscope

MADAME TEALEAVES, famous clairvoyante, leads you through Lent.

Uni Survival Guide: The All Nighter

JENNA CORDEROY on how to survive an all night essay crisis. Caffeine overdose, paranoia and power ballads abound.