Tab Guide to etiquette: Champagne, caviar, and canapés

How to make it seem like you were born with a mother-of-pearl spoon in your mouth.

UNION VOTE: Assange WILL speak at Union after tense debate and withering comments from Wikileaks supporters

The lines are closed, the votes are counted

In defence of Champagne Socialism

We’re all hypocrites really

Cripple in Cambridge – Week 5

Yes, that’s right, I call myself a cripple. ABBI BROWN explains her controversial title.

So you think you’re quick? Can you beat the Blues?

The Athletics Team are offering £150 of champagne to the fastest 4x100m team. Who knows, maybe you can beat the Athletics Blues as well…

Review: Hawks’ and Ospreys’ Charity Ball

For £40 ANNA WILMOT had a great time amongst the swarms of Blue, at this year’s Hawks’ and Ospreys’ Charity Ball

Union Freshers’ Ball

NIKOLAS MAVREAS and PATRICK BROOKS are left quietly disappointed by the lukewarm Union Freshers’ Ball.

Magdalene May Ball 2013

Magdalene delights WILL PITHERS with its magical setting, quality entertainment and endless food and drink.

Do It With Cava

From the archives: JUAN ZOBER DE FRANCISCO reminds you how to correctly douse your friends as they finish their final exam.

Fitzwilliam Ball

Tom Rasmussen claimed ‘it was like having a fucking prolapse’; TOMMY SHANE begs to differ.

University Cracks Down on Exam Celebrations

With post-exam celebrations getting “out of hand”, University officials seek to curb champagne spraying.

Jesus May Ball

JOHN BARDSLEY is left feeling contented by a solid May Ball.

‘There are downsides to going to St John’s’: Why students hate me for being a Johnian

OSCAR WILLIAMS-GRUT admits being scorned by supervisors and ignored by neighbours as a direct result of his college.

Sophie Thorpe

The Bubble gets too much for SOPHIE THORPE this week, so she runs away to the country for some bubbly. Much better.

Sophie Thorpe

SOPHIE THORPE is burning her bra for better customer service. And some free bubbly.

Clare May Ball

ELLIE PITHERS had a whale of a time, but her booze cruise came to an end earlier than planned.

St. Edmunds May Ball

LOTTIE UNWIN: ‘There were truly meaty burgers, delicious smoked salmon crepes and if you batted your fake eye-lashes enough, divine hog roast, but doing the ball basics well wasn’t quite enough.’

May Balls-Ups At Sidney, Christ’s And Trinity

Queues, the 4am lull and champagne headaches are a given, but some balls this May Week have been beset by problems other than the usual May Ball gripes.

Catz May Ball

ROBERT SMITH: ‘I’d spend an evening quaffing quick booze to wash down a Nutella crepe as Paul from S Club sings ‘Follow your heart’s desire’ instead of ‘Climb every mountain higher’ for the hundredth time any day.’

Clare May Ball

JASMIN SANDELSON: ‘a night of considered touches, and unfortunately, queues’.