Articles we nearly wrote, and why we didn’t

Our time as EiCs is slowly drawing to a close. We are obviously both devastated and decided to work through our grief by revisiting the controversial, legally-dubious or straight-up ridiculous pieces that we almost wrote this term.

I pierced my ear in college accommodation

This almost happened. When you read Ella’s forthcoming hair dye article, you might have some concept of the impulsive state she was in this week. Impromptu ear piercing was going to be the first resort of impulsivity. Luckily, Vedika happened to text that she was 10 minutes away at a crucial moment, and the ear piercing was permanently postponed, as was the potential article.

Anything for the content right? (Image credit: Author’s own screenshot)

Exposé of the mess that is Ella Sheddick’s college family

Vetoed by Ella for obvious reasons. Vedika still stands by the argument that this would perhaps be one of the most scandalous and widely-read pieces the Tab has ever written.

My Rumboogie beef with [REDACTED]

Legally unpublishable. It would have broken Camfess if we could have written it.

Top 10 worst Tab writers

Two happy Editor-in-Chiefs (Image credits: Eve Willet)

Just kidding, we love you guys. Couldn’t even think of one.

We’ve done every iconic Cambridge extracurricular: here’s our ranking

This article idea was born out of the realisation that combined, we have done theatre, journalism, student activism, rowing and may ball committee. The article swiftly faltered once we worked out that neither of us had done any music extracurriculars, and that we’d be missing a key activity from our ranking.

Documenting the breakdown of [REDACTED]

It’s quite evident anyway, doesn’t deserve a whole piece of its own.

We switched colleges for a day

Turns out, this involves actually switching colleges for a day and well…we forgot to do that.

Harshest criticism we’ve received during our time at the Tab

“Be funny.”  Having a link to a mental health hotline inserted into the bottom of your light-hearted article.

Apparently I’m not funny enough by myself 🙁 (Image Credits: Author’s own screenshot via Teams)

We’ve both received our fair share of hard knocks during our time at the Tab, but we realised we didn’t have quite enough devastating comments to bulk out an entire article.

All the ways student accommodation is failing us

There were too many ways to fit in an article. But hey, we tried.

Top five worst undergrads at my college

Ella was angry and she wanted to use her journalistic powers for vindictive purposes.  She also realised there are way more than 5 who deserve a spot on this list. Luckily this idea was swiftly vetoed by Vedika.

Should X controversial speaker speak at Cambridge?

The scene of far too many “controversies” (Image credits: Vedika Mandapati)

We were a little tired of “controversial” figures. And a little tired of going for comment.

Related articles recommended by these authors:

• A Special Day for the Corpus Clock
• Iconic Christmas Movies as Cambridge Colleges
• Popping the bubble: Day trips from Cambridge

Feature Image Credit: Ella Sheddick