Which college would these famous people have gone to?

It’s almost as if the actual King going here wasn’t enough…

Let’s take a look at which college these famous people would have gone to in a hypothetical world where you could bump into Molly Mae in Prêt as she cusses you for not being productive and then see Prince William, preferably in his rather youthful appearance, saunter down King’s Parade.

Emma Watson – Newnham

Although Hermione did somewhat attend Cambridge via Hogwarts, there’s no lying that Emma would have been seen frequenting the Iris Café at Newnham; its female-only intake accompanied by modern and elegant architecture really channels Emma’s elegance as one of the greatest actors of her time.

Kim Kardashian – King’s

You might wonder if I paired Kim K with the most photographed college at Cambridge on purpose? There’s nothing more Kim K like than poor King’s students just trying to get into their home to be bombarded by an insane amount of tourists on the parade.

More so, trying to get into King’s grounds even as a Cambridge student feels like she really is behind those doors and the porters are her body guards x

Michelle Obama – Trinity

A powerful and inspirational woman for all. There’s no doubt that Trinity, as the richest college, would be the perfect place for Michelle Obama to carry on being the absolute icon that she is.

Her famous “when they go low, we go high” quote quite literally matches the grandeur of the college and don’t tell me she wouldn’t absolutely rock one of their college gowns.

Molly Mae – Christ’s

Why aren’t you doing 70 hours of work a week for your degree? Christ’s insane and admirable work ethic matches no other than Molly Mae’s famous words “We all have the same 24 hours in a day.”

As rumour has it, she’d probably be part of the team of people in Christ’s that knock on undergrads doors during exam season to make sure they’re working.

Rylan – Robinson

Since I don’t think Rylan would be that down for the whole Cambridge tradition thing, Robinson, as one of the newer colleges which really brings the saying “red brick unis” to life, would be right up his street.

Good bops, sociable vibes all around, and a male-dominated cohort, what more could anyone want?

Tom Holland – Pembroke

An unproblematic and very British icon. No college is better suited for Tom Holland than Pembroke; it’s central, so its well-known and stays in the loop, but also simultaneously manages to keep out of the drama of King’s Parade.

He’d probably be too occupied with their amazing brunch there (as I’m told) to have a Camfess written about him.

Zendaya – Catz

Zendaya would definitely find her perfect home at Catz with it being central, but not too “in your face” to match her fame. Also, literally being known as just “Zendaya” gives the same energy of St Catharine’s being known as “Catz”.

With a nice bar and a sociable community, I can’t help but wonder whether she’d come in and “shake it up”?

 

Prince William – John’s

It seems Prince William would rather be at St. Andrews than St. Johns. Nonetheless, I’m sure John’s would reserve a special place in their majestic grounds already suited for a royal, with a great formal hall (probably William’s typical Sunday dinner) and a central location.

The question is: would you end up wanting to be friends with William because he’s a royal or because you actually just want a John’s May Ball ticket?

Taylor Swift – Clare

A night at Clare is a night when we forget about the deadlines. Its lovely gardens and bridge over the Cam fit the whole Swifty vibe, making it a perfect place to listen to Midnights.

If one of those TikTokers from King’s Parade was to ask “what song are you listening to?” at Clare, the majority would say one of Taylor’s less mainstream and gatekept songs.

Serena Williams – Jesus

Famous for its sport with a sports ground right by the college, Serena William’s home would have to be the one and only Jesus.

Even though the college is well-known, I’m yet to have met a lot of Jesus people and this would defo be the same with Serena; she’d be so concerned with having her Cambridge Blue in tennis that you’d probably never see her.

Now, the real question is, would they have been a frequent college puffer wearer?

Featured Image Credits: Patrick Dolan

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