We spoke to the winners of Cambridge Best Bums 2020
A ‘stripped’-back interview about the journey to Best Bums fame
The winners of The Tab’s Best Bums 2020 were announced over a week ago now, but we still haven’t had our fill of peachiness and we know you haven’t either! So, we spoke to our three winners to expose the naked truth about the competition. What was it like to shoot? How did it feel to win? And most importantly, what we are all desperate to know, what’s your secret to getting those toned and shapely bums? Let’s crack on:
‘Deep down I always knew I had it in me’
Reactions to being crowned the best bums of Cambridge ranged from the modest Theresa, who told the Tab Cambridge it felt “pretty nice! [I] didn’t expect to get this far and am very touched people like my bum” to the not-so-modest Athena, who said “I mean deep down I always knew I had it in me, but now it’s an official title I can safely say my inner (and outer) thoughts have been confirmed”. Although honestly, if our behinds looked like that you’d be hard pressed to find us *with* clothes on!
For our second place contestants, Angus, Matilda and Shannon, the new-found title of “second best bums in Cambridge” has made them see life completely differently, they tell us that they feel “like all the work, stress and debt of a lockdown uni life is suddenly worth it”. Personally, the thought of the entirety of Cambridge seeing our bums would drastically increase stress levels but whatever floats your boat!
‘We all knew who was going to win’
Unsurprisingly, one of the main reactions to winning was surprise! Theresa said “I was very pleasantly surprised! My friend messaged me a screenshot of the article and it was a fun thing to wake up to”. Similarly, Athena told The Cambridge Tab, “my mate messaged me at 2am and I was half asleep, so I woke up thinking it was a weird-ass dream.” This was followed by “lots of giggles and messaging my mates who knew about it to thank them for their undying support.”
Angus, Matilda and Shannon were less surprised by Athena’s victory, saying “We all knew who was going to win, so 1st was off the table, but 2nd was still a good surprise.” Their predictions were certainly on point: Athena scooped 37% of votes in the final, gaining just under 20,000 votes between both rounds!
‘The secret is in the thiccness’
When asked the key to winning, the number one result was somewhat obviously *to be in possession of a prize-worthy behind*. Athena jokes “having a peachy asf peach” was the key to her victory, whilst second place contestants agree “the secret is in the thiccness”.
If good bums are in shortage, the second ingredient is apparently good friends, whether they’re willing to get up at a ridiculous hour to snap pics (Theresa dedicates her win to her set-mate and best friend), have the self-proclaimed title of being “the best god damn photographer in West Cambridge” or simply the commitment to vote for you repeatedly.
But be warned, a best bums entry could cause tension and strains in your relationship, as Theresa found, telling The Tab Cambridge that her boyfriend “forgot to vote in the final round” and she’s “still not over” it.
If your friends are refusing to stroke your ego through Tab competitions, Athena tells us the third secret is “good lighting and composition”. She adds: “Even if my bum ain’t the one, the architecture and photo itself is enough to make someone vote in my opinion.” Official sources may dispute this first claim, but we’ll bear the advice in mind next time we go bare.
‘I enjoyed the adrenaline rush of streaking in college’
If your primary response to the excessive number of entries we received was, “wait, people actually submit entries to this thing?” we have answers! When our finalists were asked what drove them to enter, answers ranged from “lockdown boredom” to long-term ambitions, with Athena telling the Tab Cambridge that, “I’ve been joking about doing Best Bum for years now! I would have applied earlier but didn’t want to win several years in a row, [I had to] give the rest of Cambridge a chance!”
Answers also featured a partiality to nudity: our runners-up hinted at, “a pattern of voluntary nudity in the past”. Whilst Theresa told us, “I like being naked a lot and I enjoyed the adrenaline rush of streaking in college.” She continued: “ I’ve done life modeling before and really enjoyed it, I find it can be empowering and I like doing things that scare me.”
‘I would not have wanted to explain that one to the Dean’
In terms of the science behind our winning photos, the key seems to be starting early. Angus, Matilda and Shannon told the Tab Cambridge they went on a tour of Cambridge the night before to pick their locations and “we were up for first light with a volunteer cameraman”, with Athena also telling us they “started before 7 am at Castle Mound and went to three or four locations to get a range of photos to pick from”. Theresa admits “it was freezing but really nice to be awake and see the sunrise at that time”.
Whilst Athena admitted to getting, “some looks on King’s Parade and Orgasm Bridge”, overall a lack of fruity moments and being caught were reported, which Theresa expressed relief about, saying, “I would not have wanted to explain that one to the Dean.” Our runners-up tell us the key to discretion involved, “wearing as few items of clothing possible to get the transitions smooth and stripping down real quick”. If early mornings and the freezing cold don’t tempt you, you may want to take a leaf from Peggy, who took her photo indoors, or get planning your shot now to take in the summer months.
‘My gran voted in the competition!’
Another common fear that voters had seemed to revolve around the, “What if my mum/gran/third-cousin-twice removed saw the photo?!” Well, Theresa told The Cambridge Tab that “my gran voted in the competition! I sent her the photo and she loved it, she supports everything I do and is very open-minded”, and if that doesn’t warm your heart I’m not sure what will!
When asked what her grandmothers might think, Athena said “Well, one is dead and the other is a Christian artist. So she’d probably love it (and apologise to Jesus on my behalf)”, whilst our runners-up made the valid point that “We really really hope our grandmas don’t recognise our bums as otherwise we’ll have some explaining to do…”
‘I was convinced that Kiera’s godly ass was going to win’
There was nothing but support for fellow competitors all-round. Theresa said “Everyone had amazing bums!!! [They] definitely all deserve recognition for being so brave.” Likewise, our runners-up commented that “there were some very impressive photos (with special mention to Athena and Kiera)”, and partially attributed their own success to the fact Angus’ mum “sent the link to his extended family.”
Athena was also part of the Kiera fan club, telling us that she was “convinced that Kiera’s godly ass was going to win.” Mainly because “she was on a BIKE people, a BIKE.” For all the Kiera fans out there, we can confirm that she did in fact come fourth, winning over 8,000 votes in round one thanks to some international fans!
‘There’s no such thing as a bad bum’
In terms of advice for next year’s applicants, Theresa encourages anyone interested to “just do it! It’s funny and there’s no such thing as a bad bum!”. Athena focussed on practical tips, telling applicants to focus on “location, lighting, composition and POSTURE! Don’t be shy, show the world your ass”. In the wise words of our runners-up, “go thicc or go home”.
But at the end of the day, in the wise words of ABBA, “the winner takes it all”, and following her astounding victory, with a total of 19,374 votes across both rounds, we thought it was only fair to grant the best bum in Cambridge 2020 the final words. Athena used this opportunity to give a shout-out: not to her fans, friends, or even Christian artist nan, but rather “to the guy who left bite marks on my ass earlier this term – who knew you’d be munchin’ on Cambridge’s best bum xx”
Honestly mystery guy, Crushbridge her before we do!