A review of all of the sandwiches in the ARC café

My lovely friend Naomi and I like to eat sandwiches. We ventured over to the ARC café one Friday lunchtime and ate a lot of them. This is the result.

We counted an impressive seventeen different types of sandwich in the fridge. There were also wraps in the fridge which sparked a debate over whether wraps counted as sandwiches. We decided they did not.

Chicken, Bacon and Stuffing:

Impressive ratio of bread to filling

Very meaty and very satisfying. Naomi was glad for her pre-lunchtime cleansing of the bowels because it was a hefty sandwich to start off with. The bacon was not quite as flavoursome as it could be, but this comes with a silver lining because it allows the chicken to shine through. A very well balanced sandwich. Probably the Libra of the sandwich world. 7/10.

Cheddar ploughman:

Cheeky close up

This one was disappointing. Biting into a slab of fridge-cold cheese might be part of some people’s sandwich dreams, but it is NOT part of mine. I like my sandwiches to be a nice room temperature for an optimal tastebud-tingling experience.

Although the cheese was a bit disappointing, the pickle was very sharp and stingy on my chapped October lips, which is just how it should be. The tomato was fresh and juicy. The lettuce was fine.

A ploughman always makes me a bit sad because it would have been just as good (maybe better) without the lettuce and tomato. Coco Chanel said “Before you leave the house, look in the mirror and take one thing off” and even though she said it really loud the cheddar ploughman clearly wasn’t listening. Poor ploughman. 6/10.

Coronation chicken:

The suspense was real as she took the first bite

Naomi said that the curry flavour here is top notch, with a slight sweetness from the apricots and sultanas. Points must be lost because of a sultana that unfortunately ended up being cut when the sandwich was halved.

It glistened in the centre of the filling like a ripe, fruity pustule. Naomi gobbled it down and I thought I might vom. This is quite a wet sandwich, which we agreed was a good thing. No dry mouths here. 9/10 but minus one point for the sultana pustule. 8/10.

Bhaji Bonanza:

Is this a bhaji?!?

Very confusing. The mango chutney tastes just like the pickle in the cheddar ploughman. Why is this? Maybe ARC ran out of chutney and improvised. ALSO what is the bhaji???

I am no expert but I’m sure this isn’t a normal onion bhaji. There’s no crispy-ness and I can’t see any onion. I have included a picture of a bit of the bhaji – do me a favour so I don’t embarrass myself in the future and let me know if this is a legit bhaji or not. I’m not sure if this sandwich is who it says it is, but it’s actually quite nice. 7/10.

Simply cheese:

A classic choice

This sandwich is just cheese. If a sandwich is just cheese it should probably be decent cheese. This cheese is like the sandwich maker somehow got their hands on a very large Babybel, sliced it, and thought “that’ll do”.

I hope you know what a Babybel tastes like, but in case you don't it's like a cheddar/emmental blend. But it's also quite bendy, and sometimes it tastes a bit powdery. I love Babybels but I don’t think I want a Babybel sandwich.

The BREAD on the other hand was magnificent. Two great big white bready clouds held the strange Babybel cheese like it was their newborn baby. It was thick and soft and I could have eaten a whole loaf. Strange cheese, great bread, 8/10.

Ham, egg, and mayo:

The smile masks the disgust…

Naomi couldn’t finish this one, which says a lot. 2/10.

That sunny Friday lunchtime, we were unable to sample the following: Chicken mayo, chicken and bacon, chicken and stuffing, roast chicken salad, chicken and sweetcorn, smoked ham and cheddar, smoked ham and mustard, egg and bacon, sausage egg and ham, simply ham, egg salad.

Life is too short and my arms can only carry so many sandwiches. The similarity of all of the different fillings on this list makes me think that ARC café only have about four ingredients, and whack together a ton of different combinations to make us think that there’s loads of choice. All of the sandwiches probably taste quite similar, and they are all probably fine.