News Column Week 3: Crime, conspiracy theories and combustion

Despite the snow, things are hotting up in Cambridge


Email fail (it's a rhyme!)

Week 3 began with a bang when an email slip-up saw second year Classicists invited to come and collect their summer exam papers instead of the examiners.

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What a kind invitation!

Understandably, two weeks into term, not all the Cambridge staff were feeling so innovative with their email content. Clare's new Head Porter introduced himself to students in the following outstandingly succinct email: justifiably sent with high importance.

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A man of few words, perhaps?

Conspiracy theories

Turns out its name isn't the only confusing thing about Clare's Forbes Mellon Library; the library received a mysterious visit from firefighters last Monday. True, visits by firefighters aren't usually "mysterious" – given there was no evidence of a fire nor mention of the event by the College (other than an apology for the library opening late), The Tab reckons this definitely counts as a #conspiracytheory.

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Surely it is not justified to leave this unexplained

In addition to the mysterious fire (or lack thereof?), Corpus Playroom was painted on Thursday night without explanation and Queens' students have allegedly spotted ghosts over the Mathematical Bridge.

In summary, it's only Week 3 and we're already going mental!

Stolen goods at Girton

Girton's Dean of Discipline emailed freshers giving them "one last chance" to return a piece of College silver which appears to have been stolen at Matriculation Dinner last term.

Students were told they had until Sunday 10th February to leave the "precious item of college property" in the Porters Lodge or somewhere public in the College. Alternatively, students who might "feel in some way responsible for the loss of the silver" were invited to make a donation to the £300 cost of the replacement (almost the same price as lunch from Arc Cafe!).

Gender neutral toilets at Downing and Queens'!

It's not every day we get to celebrate toilets, but today is definitely a good reason to: the gender neutral toilets at Queens' and Downing are in full swing! The Tab first spotted plans to introduce these toilets in the last week of Michaelmas. Thanks to the tireless work of present and past JCR LGBT+ Officers (including one Tab team member!), one smaller step towards equality has been secured at the start of LGBT+ History Month. Lovely stuff.

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Who knew it was possible to feel so enthusiastic about a toilet sign?

EU flag at King's

With the start of LGBT+ History Month, flags have been Big Business at Cambridge (have no fear, we'll be doing a full LGBT+ flag roundup soon).

Alongside this, however, King's flew the EU flag at 9am on 30th January in solidarity with European students and staff. In a statement on the College website, Provost Michael Proctor said that the flag celebrated King's identity as "an international and diverse College", and sought to symbolise "our continuing support for [EU students'] rights" and "how highly we value their contribution" to Kings.

A light from beyond The Bubble…

If the fact that it's Week 4 (WEEK 4!!!!) on Thursday scares you as much as it scares your author, then look at these "snow rollers" which appeared in Wiltshire yesterday. They look a bit like the Christmas version of a fruit roll-up. It's impossible to be stressed when looking at the Christmas version of a fruit roll-up (#facts).

Cover image by Tom McGachie. Overlain with fire clipart (source, copyright); EU flag (source).