BREAKING: King’s College Communist flag is MISSING

What would Marx say?

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Freshers' week in Cambridge is wild. It is ruthless. There's parading about in a giant black cloak in the name of tradition, there are essays showered upon the confused and unsuspecting a mere four days in, there's chugging down alcohol flavoured sugar in the name of having a good time.

But now, there are thieves.

In a traumatic turn of events, reports have emerged that the Communist flag, normally found hanging in King's College bar, has mysteriously disappeared.

The motives for this removal are unknown. Perhaps a revolt is brewing. Perhaps it has been taken down by maintenance for logistical purposes.

More to follow as and when this scandalous news unfolds.