Clubbers of Week 3
You know the drill.
It's Week 3 – you're already burnt out and have fully given up on deadlines, showering, and regular meal times,and the week 5 blues aren't even in sight.
So, your friend 'convinces' you for about 0.6 nano seconds, before you eventually relent and get ready for a wild night out on the toon.
I present to you, the Clubbers of Week 3.
'She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb, and the shape of an L on her forehead'.
Somebody clearly took the words of Smash Mouth a little too seriously, but hey, when you're in Rome, do as the Romans do. And if a constant playlist from the early noughties isn't enough to brainwash you into submission, I don't know what is.
Did someone say 'LADSLADSLADS'???
Get your LadBibles out, because we have some disciples right here Ladies and Gents.
Matching plain-white tees, Hawaiian shirts and (do I smell drinking-soc?) ties… it's a winning combination. And surely with all those moistened layers, your neighbours in this sauna called Life (poetic I know) are really gonna appreciate your sweaty backs when they swoop past.
I think I'm stuck in a time-warp.
Is this 2009, and am I in the Android Shop at my local shopping centre, because this is darn @PengGurlXOXO?!
We really are just a duck-pout away from slipping back into Year 7.
Please move the SAXA away because this is saltyyyyy.
I don't know what we have just stumbled across, but something juicy has just occurred.
Did the dude in a life-jacket (seriously!) just get rejected from his college wife, or did the chappie in the fancy shirt just overhear that the bar are out of blue VKs?
Either way, DRAMA as usual.
Some people have their best thoughts in the library, some in the shower, and some in Sunday Life!
Whether your pal has just ditched you to snog a rugby blue (fair), or you've just been hypnotised by the blissful premonition of the cheesy chips that are at the end of this loong tunnel, you've found yourself on your own.
You either frantically message the group-chat, or just stare pensively into space, and hope that the photographer is bored enough to capture you in your most Abercrombie&Fitch light.
Now this is pure wholesome.
The kind of pic you send to your Mum to prove you're not a loser and go on nights-out, but still home in one piece and probably ready for a 9AM.
Say cheeeeseeeee(y chips)!
Good job people. Keep it up.
'Smiling is a sign of weakness, boys'.
'Are you wearing your fresh creps?'
'I go to sneaker conventions.'
'Does it look like I went to a state school if I only wear Adidas?'
'Why pay for the cloakroom when it can become a fashion statement?'
'What is fragile masculinity?'
^^ any of the above.
Strike a pose, VOGUE!
Somebody is clearly feeling the music here, which means that Mambo Number 5 has just started, and you're about to drop it like it's hot… very, very hot – like heat stroke indoors.
The squad is looking on point tonight.
A healthy mix of smiles, peace signs, tongues out and questionable facial expressions = Friendship Goals!
Which means…. we know you're all gonna fight over who gets to drop this cheekyyy pic on their instagram. Let the Hunger Games begin.
Isn't this everybody's absolute fantasy?
Oh, just mine then.
Come on; being looked at seductively and simultaneously being fed a VK?! Move over Fifty Shades, you have competition.
Keep smouldering, keep 'smising'.
See you next week Party People!