Why being single on Valentine’s Day is actually great

No bae to cuddle this Valentine’s? It’s really not the end of the world

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Ah, Valentine’s Day. The one day of the year when people in relationships are actively encouraged to gloat about the fact that they won’t die alone (at least for now), while the supposedly unlucky single population are meant to wallow in self-pity.

PDA is rampant, Facebook becomes inundated with synchronised profile pic changes and the world is plunged into a sea of love hearts and kissy faces. However, if you are single this Valentine’s Day, there’s no need to spend it crying in front of PornHub or furiously swiping right on Tinder in the hopes that somebody, somewhere, might validate you. Being single on the second most commercialised holiday after Christmas definitely has its perks, and you should take the incentive to celebrate being free to do whatever the fuck you want.

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I’m a strong independent brown man who don’t need no woman

 

A simple card just doesn’t cut it anymore – if your bae can’t insta some overpriced plate of food or some stupid monkey you made for them at Build-A-Bear then you might as well not even be together. Firstly, though Clintons will be sure to make a killing at this time of year, as a singleton your wallet will be eternally grateful to you. This will be the first time in two years that I won’t have to buy any flowers or book an expensive meal and frankly, if you’re as overdrawn as fuck as I am, it’s actually a godsend. And then there’s the awkwardness of actually deciding what to buy. If you’re early into a relationship, you might not know what the other person will actually appreciate, or worry about spending more money than the other and seeming too keen.

On the other hand, if you’re in a long-established couple, choosing a gift can often feel like going through the motions. Singles, be thankful that you don’t have to deal with that aggro and spend your money drinking to how awesome it is being alone at Sunday Life instead.

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A much better way to spend Valentine’s Day

Next, there’s the fact that you’re not tied down to anybody and, therefore, can do whatever the fuck you want to on the day. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a self-proclaimed “relationship person”, and it’s been difficult for me to adjust to the single life. But do I miss having to sit through dreary rom-coms and having my food eaten? Not in the slightest.

Sure, some healthy compromise can be great when you’re with someone. But a lot of the time it ends up being a one-sided affair, like being forced to be the submissive in a re-enactment of 50 Shades of Grey for example (apart from that, it was a lovely Valentine’s Day). But if you’re not in a relationship, you don’t have to put up with any of that bollocks. You can flirt with whoever you want, you don’t have to share your food and you can enjoy just doing something that you enjoy.

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JOEY DOESN’T SHARE FOOD!

All jokes aside, the real reason that being single on Valentine’s Day is great is because it makes you realise how bullshit the concept of Valentine’s Day actually is. Frankly, if you’re in a relationship, every day should be “Valentine’s Day” and there shouldn’t only be one calendar day in the year where you actually give a shit about your partner – it should be all the time. Equally, the idea that you’re somehow a failure if you’re not in a relationship on Valentine’s Day is just bullshit.

The fact is, single or otherwise, it’s just another day like any other, and by Feb 15th the whole farce will be over. Well, until next year…