Gold Teeth are set to Hypnotise Cambridge

Nationwide student-night juggernauts Gold Teeth are coming to town TOMORROW.

Cambridge club night Clubbing garage gold teeth hip hop house hypnotise Kuda Life mixed race Music

How the tides have turned for you Cambridge.

Last year at The Tab we were cobbling together articles about carol singers and which Rihanna song went best with a VK (this may or may not be true) but now you have not one, not two, but three of the UK’s most prestigious student nights right here on your doorstep.

There is nothing sexual implied in this photograph.

There is nothing sexual implied in this photograph.

Joining the ranks of established Cambridge promoters such as Creem and Turf, Gold Teeth are looking to put themselves on the local map this Thursday. To be honest, anything that can swoop in and save you from yet another night in the Maypole listening to Cassandra from Penge’s gap year stories is a plus in my book. Gold Teeth are no new-kids-on-the-block however, having entertained over 100,000 students at club nights across London, Manchester, Sheffield and other cooler places than Cambridge for the last 5 years.

Look at all that smoke. I think that's what promoters mean when they talk about 'atmosphere'.

Look at all that smoke. I think that’s what promoters mean when they talk about ‘atmosphere’.

One of the Gold Teeth team was eventually clever enough to get into Cambridge (always remember – you may not be cool but damn it you’re smart), and brought the inimitable student brand with him. When we asked what to expect from a GT night we were told:

All party no bullshit – what going out should be about, it’s not about being seen or being in a scene.” – Marcus Ransome.

This is the same man that we can quote as saying:

Firstly, since you’re all shit eating, pot smoking, student wasters, you probably spend half of your time watching Kim Kardashian’s first world problems. Usually about how her cunt hair is too long and how she needs to trim it. Why this disgusting example of a human being is allowed to exist and furthermore, is exalted as an important member of society, I’ll never know.

DJ Mixed Race - no seriously, that's his name.

DJ Mixed Race – no seriously, that’s his name.

So make of that what you will. For his rant against pop culture (can it be called culture? there’s a free idea for a sociology dissertation for any of you doing a pretend degree) don’t expect this to be an eyes-down pretentious night of shuffling – it will combine club classics, house, garage, hip hop and RnB for maximum amounts of drunken singing along and doing that awful hand gesture white kids do while they rap.

Gold Teeth’s first jaunt into Cambridge is hosted by the Gold Teeth DJs (including their very own ingeniously named ‘DJ Mixed Race’) as well local aficionado Cardinal Sound making an appearance. Across their other nights, however, previous acts include Skream, Miguel Campbell, One-man, Jackmaster as well as a Rolller Disco night in a Hackney Warehouse (you can taste the beard sweat from here). What we’re saying is – get yourselves down to Life / Kuda / Whatever on Thursday night for the first Gold Teeth because we’re sure they’ll have a few surprises in store for you. Tickets and more details can be found here.

We’ll be the ones at the front, rapping along to Biggie with a cocktail.