How to end term with a bang
The title grabbed your attention didn’t it? Cheeky.
After what feels like three years though was in fact 8 weeks, another term has come to an end. Its been a long slog, and as such it is that much more important to end on a high.
Ending term with a bang, metaphorically, though literally too, will leave you feeling like time has not been wasted, like you have truly achieved something. For e.g. Mathmos, the sexual ‘bang’ often appears unattainable, for everyone else the metaphorical ‘bang’ is also something of legend. You can be that legend.
The following examples are ways in which you could end Lent Term with a bang.
- Steal. Steal a moment on the bridge of sighs with your lover <3
Or, if you’re less romantically fortunate, release this sexual frustration via actual acts of theft. Steal dining sets in hall, steal fancy dress from Lola’s and then finally steal a punt – making your way, very oddly dressed, all the way down the Cam as fast as you can. If you are pursued by other ‘punters’ this will add to the thrill. The Boat race never comes soon enough.
- Actually bang. As in have sex. We are not one of the most sensual of Universities (we actually came in at number 54 in the 2014 University Sex League), but perhaps end the term by making love. The UL has many wings to choose from and it isn’t very well monitored.
- Walk on the grass. Just do it.
- Go to Cindies and really mix it up. Re-invent yourself with a different name and college. (I was once ‘Miranda’ from Selwyn – she had a great night, thanks for asking). Refer to Cindies as ‘Ballare’ or hang out in John’s Bar and pretend you belong.
- Meet up with someone from Tinder. You never know what you’ll get. You could think you’re meeting up with a hot tamale from Sidney Sussex when in fact you’re meeting up with a very elderly woman. The world is a mysterious place, explore it, (though perhaps bring a friend to be on the safe side).
- Make a speech. There aren’t enough speeches these days. Perhaps in hall, perhaps in main court. The more spontaneous, unexpected and inappropriately located the better. Keep it short and sweet, like Dawn French.
- Jump in the Cam naked. This can make you very ill, as a close friend of mine experienced during Freshers. However, it’s worth it for the story.
Try one of them or all of them and let me know how it goes in the comments box. I’ll respond if I’m not still on the Cam, wearing lei-leis and a sombrero whilst being chased by the employees of Scudamores while I attempt to drive a punt. Is it drive or sail?
Either way, I can’t drive a punt so the venture will probably end with a bang. Good luck achieving yours.