Sloshed: The Union Drinking Game
On that point
When one ventures into the Union for a debate, potentially lasting a solid three hours, one often feels they need a strong drink. (#applywatertotheburn)
So much privilege all in one place makes a soft soul light-headed.
So, how about grabbing the bull by the horns and make yourself light-headed on another level? With a cheeky drinking game.
The Cambridge Union is a bastion of white privilege, so what better word represents its merger with youth culture than the adjective ‘sloshed’? This is, quite literally, the name of the game.
In an institution so resistant to change ‘why fix what ain’t broken’ has been the University’s motto for the last 800 years. The game will pay respect to this via a conventional ‘sees it/hears it = drink’ format. Why deviate from a timeless model?
Every time the following occurs have a sip from that hip flask inherited from your grandfather:
- When anyone marches from one end of the Chamber to the other (This will get you off to a strong start).
- When anyone in the emergency debate gets a point of information (2 drinks if the point of information is rejected, perhaps offer a drink to the individual who has been sadly no platformed).
- When anyone makes a jibe about a debater. The Union can get a tad bitchy and the atmosphere is thick with public school intellectual intensity (often confused with sexual tension by the rich and the lonely).
- When the speakers of the main debate are being introduced, waterfall (drink continuously). This takes stamina.
- During clapping (2 drinks if undeserved)
- When a debater holds up their hands in disbelief at their opponents.
- Any indication of privilege, e.g. the predominance of white males.
- Any time a debater says ‘this illustrious house’.
- When the absurdity of the situation flashes across your mind e.g. the fact that we sit in a Chamber and it’s run by figures in black tie on a casual Thursday night. Weird.
- When an audience member forgets to say their name and their college before making a point.
- If anyone on your side of the room has their question taken. This is what you call, ‘team spirit’.
- Any time Father Christmas makes a point (you’ll know when it happens).
- Finally, whilst leaving the Chamber, drink once you have made your very informed decision about who won the debate and walked through the arches of ‘ayes’ or ‘noes’.
Now, once this is all done proceed to the bar to await the results of the debate and perhaps get some water – you have work to do after this, after all.