Cambridge Union Speaker Leaked

Lent term speaker revealed exclusively on the Tab


Amid rumours that the Cambridge Union have blown all their Speakers’ budget this term, we can exclusively reveal that they have only one speaker booked for next term: the boy who sang the Frosties advert.

They're gonna taste great!

They’re gonna taste grrreat!

A spokesman for the Union was quick to deny that this booking was forced by financial constraints, saying, “The boy who sang the Frosties advert was actually incredibly hard to book. He was forced into hiding due to the controversial nature of his music, with threats of violence against him.” 

The location of the boy who sang the Frosties advert is unknown

The location of the boy who sang the Frosties advert is unknown

“He mysteriously disappeared from public consciousness after the advert stopped running,” said the spokesman, adding, “We are considering announcing him under an alias for his own safety, especially after he legally changed his name to ‘The boy who sang the Frosties advert’ following an identity crisis.”

Excitement over the boy who sang the Frosties advert has not reached quite the same fever pitch as previous speakers. One disappointed student commented, ‘it can’t be the real boy who sang the Frosties advert, because my cousin’s best friend’s sister knew him and he killed himself after being bullied for doing that advert.’

Bullied for his love of sugary breakfast cereal

Bullied for his love of sugary breakfast cereal

Another was heard saying, ‘he’s one actor in a fifty second TV advert from 2006. Surely there’s a limit to how long he can string that out?’

The boy who sang the Frosties advert was unavailable for comment.