What did you give up for Easter?
ELOISE DAVIES asked you about your Lent endeavours. You delivered.
For a small minority of determined souls, Easter has come as a great relief. Lent, that period of enormous sacrifice, is finally ending. Cadbury’s profits may have fallen while the dedicated few stuck to their no chocolate vows, but now at last they shall gloriously resurrected by the grace of Easter egg purchases. The Tab has made a serious and comprehensive investigation into this institution to discover moral successes, failures, and the odd spot of commercial trivialisation.
We asked you: what did you give up for Lent?
Finn McRedmond, Classicist:
“I gave up grapes for Lent. Because I don’t like them. But Lent doesn’t count on Sundays. Well… it’s definitely is a genuine rule in Ireland anyway. So on Sundays I ate shitloads of grapes. Just because I could.”
Charlotte Ivers, Philosopher:
“In an attempt to combine the salvation of my soul with the salvation of my degree, I went against tradition and took something up for Lent: work. Or at very least, I made the claim on Shrove Tuesday that I was going to do so. I even went to the library the very next day and took some books out. Unfortunately, I never went back, leaving me with a library fine far exceeding the amount of money left in my overdraft (a massive £12.50) and no actual reading to show for it. Easter Sunday is here, and still I am gripped in the power of the eighth deadly sin: procrastination. Ah well, the purgatory of exam term awaits, when I will surely be forced to do penance for my crimes. Pray for me. Please.”
Joe Winters, English:
“I gave up religion for Lent.”
Will Kennaway, English:
“Two Lents ago, I decided that I had spent too long silently sitting through taxi journeys—too long not having anything to banter about in the men’s changing rooms—too long making my apologies and leaving when a group conversation shifted to the topic of football. Something inside me finally snapped when I saw the episode of The IT Crowd featuring a website offering take-home one-liners to deploy in exactly those situations. My mission for that Lent—and for Lents since—has been to up my football chat, and it’s been a big success. My local Leeds still languishing in the Championship, I picked the Premier League team of that season with the most appealing name—QPR—and launched myself into the grim world of online supporters’ message boards and YouTube clip-shows of Adel Taarabt’s top goals. My pub banter game has improved drastically ever since.”
Charlie Dowell, Natsci:
“I gave up optimism for lent: started off thinking I couldn’t do it, then near the end I felt confident and positive about finishing so failed…”
Ted Erikson, Architechture:
“Every Lent I try and fail to give up smoking, so this year I tried something different. At my brother’s birthday earlier this year he had been kind enough to inform me that, “Uni hasn’t been kind to your belly has it? Even you can’t call that turkey weight”. So I decided this lent to start one of those awful 4am infomercial video workouts. I punted for the “Insanity Workout” as it meant I could exercise as God intended; trapped in your room where no one can laugh at your pitiful efforts. Surprisingly the ridiculously beautiful and ripped individuals shouting at me to “dig deeper” has worked, and I haven’t missed a day yet. On top I’ve found a new love of cottage cheese and something to break down the monotony of revision”
The Tab offers its earnest congratulations to those of you with enough hard-boiled determination to succeed in your Lent endeavours. Commiserations to those who cracked. Now onwards to eggsesses of Easter…
That’s all, yolks.