The Science of Love

To be honest I have never really understood love. Yeah you like someone, but how great are they really? Was their description of an uneventful trip to Sainsbury’s really that interesting? Is the way they sneeze cute, when in actual fact it left a disgusting blob of snot on their sleeve?

My utter bewilderment at the extraordinary dullness of loved-up couples and their irrationality of thought has lead me to do some research. Since I am a NatSci, I believe this phenomenon can only be described by hard cold science, none of this darling buds of may bullshit. I want the correct answers.

Despite my search for a simple answer to what is love, there is none forthcoming: love is a complex emotion generally attributed only to humans. However, in the face of this complexity, there appear to be a couple of key players in turning your quick fling into a romance of Shakespearian proportions.

First in this scientific rogue’s gallery is oxytocin.

Often referred to as the cuddle chemical, it has been implicated in mammalian social behaviour for a long time. Studies on prairie voles have shown that a release of oxytocin in the brain during sex promotes pair bonding. Okay you may not be a prairie vole, but there is sufficient evidence to suggest it plays a role in the reduction of stress and anger responses in humans, giving you more of a loving feeling. One study in particular showed that nasal application of the chemical, reduced people’s responses in the emotional centres of the brain to angry faces.

What happens when the oxytocin runs out?

So if you are some desperate Bridget Jones type, should you be snorting oxytocin or hurriedly injecting it before RAG blind date? Well no. Oxytocin is quite a large compound that is difficult to get into the brain and if injected intravenously promotes lactation. Unless you like slippery nipples, I’d give it a pass.

Second in the line up is vasopressin.

This compound has been shown to turn promiscuous mice monogamous, by introducing a receptor gene from the boring loved up prairie voles. The pattern of expression of this receptor in the forebrain and subtle variations in its structure, are thought to be key to determine whether one rodent is a slut or a nun. If this is true for humans, it could be said some people are genetically predisposed to be harlots and that it may be heritable: i.e. if you are a slag, chances are your mum was too.

Spot the philanderer

So if you are the cheating type should you be doing eyeball shots of vasopressin, or slipping it into your sister’s drink to stop her sleeping around? Well again the answer is no. If drunk, the peptide hormone is broken down and even if it did get into your blood stream, it would raise your blood pressure and prevent you from pissing. Five pints down on a night out and this could put you in serious trouble.

So far the science has not been too helpful, however there is hope around the corner in the form of pheromones.

Pheromones, for the uninitiated, are specific chemicals or patterns of chemicals that promote changes in social interactions between animals. In our case, there may be some scents that may make you believe even an aesthetically challenged person is a worthy and desirable conquest. So far there has been one promising chemical identified that could have an effect on future Casanovas: androstadienone.

This androgen steroid, present in human sweat, is thought to have mood altering abilities on both men and women. In particular, one study showed that women who sniffed this chemical at a speed dating event were more likely to find the men attractive.

Oh stop it you

So why aren’t people splashing this pheromone over their bodies before awkward drinks at the pub? Well you can buy this chemical from “love-scent.com” for $49.95 and douse yourself before a date.

However, the effects of this supposed pheromone are still highly disputed, with another study showing it increased male cooperativeness, making a threesome more likely than exclusive intercourse. By all means give it a go, I’d love to find out the results, but don’t sue me if they think you smell like BO.

On our scientific odyssey into love we have found out very little. All three of our potential suspects, have been annoyingly ambiguous in their effectiveness.

Though to be honest this is probably a good thing: the unpredictability and unfathomability of love make it special. It’s better to compare thee to a summer’s day than a scientific paper.