Who Killed Bambi? Cam Professor Supports Culling Deer Calves

What the buck? A research paper co-authored by Cam Professor Tim Clutton-Brock supports current guidelines in Scotland on shooting Bambi with his mother during the hunting season. Even doe baby deer are cute, the study, published in Behavioral Ecology and Sociobiology, claims orphaning increases odds of natural death for juvenile deer, making it kinder to kill them both on the spot.

We really hope this deer is just dozing.

Speaking to online science publication Phys.org, Clutton-Brock grabbed the deer by the horns (antlers?) controversially stating:

‘Orphaning cases occur commonly when the mother has been shot.

“This study shows that there is some cost… of shooting deer on their offspring, and provides some support for current policy that suggests culling deer calves at the same time as their mothers,’

Like many Tab writers, orphaned deer have NO friends in real life.

Without the care of bunny rabbits to “fawn” over them, orphaned male deer in the wild struggle to compete during the mating season. With over 100 000 deer culled in Scotland annually, the practice is supposed to prevent damage by deer to heather and forests, and prevent them from stealing food and shelter from sheep.

When contacted by The Tab for comment, a representative of Cambridge University Vegan Society couldn’t hind-le the news, unsurprisingly.

‘The study presents culling as a necessary evil and the murder of the mother’s child as a compassionate act.

“When comparing the complex and highly social experiences of grieving deer who lost their mothers to the human process of mourning, we notice many similarities. We would never accept the murder of human orphans to spare them the pain of grieving.”

Perhaps Bambi should try hiding out with Rudolph this Bridgemas.