Smear of the Rear

Sharp-eyed Tab readers will have noticed that we’ve changed the title of our world-famous arse contest to ‘Best Bums 2013’.

That’s because the trademark actually belongs to the national Rear of the Year competition, who have been annually comparing the arse-cheeks of minor celebs since 1976.

The company, who last year awarded Strictly dancers Flavia Cacace and Vincent Simone crystal trophies for their services to having nice bums told us to stop using their registered trademark.

Tony Edwards, the “former journalist”, organiser of the lofty Top Tie Wearers’ award, and brains behind the buttocks at Rear of the Year said: ‘It is to be regretted that the people behind this somewhat tasteless student stunt haven’t the wit and creativity to originate their own promotional ideas without resorting to the unauthorised use of long-established and protected properties.’

Tony Edwards: a real mover and shaker

But Thomas, the 2nd year Performance Art student from Trinity whose backside was reprinted in national and international newspapers, is unhappy with the implication that his bum is tasteless.

‘I climbed all the way to a secluded area in the University Library to get my cheeky snapshot. A lot of thought went into it, and I think it’s not just creative but a cracking example of modern art’.

Previous winners of the Rear of the Year national competition include Graham Norton (2000), Ronan Keating (2003), and Carol Vordeman (2011).

If you’re interested in taking your amateur skills of clicking on pictures of a part of someone’s body where shit comes out of/posterior pics to next level, why not vote for number one rear of 2014?

We would like to apologise to Mr Edwards for accidentally abusing his trademark. We hope he has it in his heart to forgive us, rather than spank us.