Going The Distance: Part 1

Can the long distance relationship ever work? Is it even worth it?

break up LDR long-distance relationships romance student romance

New year. New term. New boyfriend? Ah. I have very recently seen the tragic end of the dreaded LDR (long-distance relationship). Don’t worry, I have splurged all my lamentations/tears/curses into the ears of patient friends already, so this article should be fairly rant free. Fairly.

Entering my last year at Cambridge, there has never before been a time when I have been single at University. My flirting tactics no doubt are more rusty than the average crappy student bike. I must admit the world looks a frightening place; I’m not very good at dancing or giving sexy glances across the bar. Not that I’ve even tried to be honest, it’d just be too embarrassing.

Nevertheless, I think the time had come for me and my boyf to call it a day. It seems to me that the LDR has a sell-by-date to some extent, and we had reached it. The endless organization of work schedules, so as to be able to snatch the occasional weekend away in London, became exhausting. Frequently missing Sunday sports matches became disappointing. If a friend’s birthday celebrations fell on a day I’d earmarked to visit him, guilty negotiations ensued in an attempt to please both parties. Often my friends lost out. It is easy to become selfish about your relationship and its maintenance, particularly when organized time is so precious in a LDR.

I was happy as a long-term girlfriend, but I do regret the additional pressures it placed upon my work and my enjoyment of things here, in Cambridge. I’m relieved that I can immerse myself more fully in the bubble this term. Admittedly in this vein I did sign myself up to some rather questionable groups at Freshers’ Fair that I have absolutely no intention of joining. I’m sure I’m not alone.

The LDR is a question of energy, enthusiasm and organization. It is undoubtedly more difficult to have another half in Hull than Homerton (just). This doesn’t mean it’s impossible, but constantly sacrificing parts of your university life may wear you, or your partner, down. I don’t want this article to get people happily enjoying an LDR down in the dumps though, obviously I am just an embittered spinster venting my regrets. Consider it as an equation, or perhaps a bank account – is what you are putting in really worth what you’re getting out? If not, please feel free to come and join me at the bar. I’ll be the one making weird eyes at people.