Flipping The Bird: Mr ASBO Out
Mr ASBO’s reign of terror on the Cam could finally come to an end.
It’s swan song time for the Cam’s most infamous resident, Mr ASBO.
Cygnals suggest that the troublemaking swan will be relocated after a three year reign of terror on the water.
Authorities have agreed to move him 50 miles from his corner of the Cam, meaning his days of bullying boaties and terrifying tourists could soon come to an end.
It is understood that ASBO, who is protected by royal decree, will be allowed the move for “health and safety reasons”.
Apparently ASBO has had a vendetta against Cantabs since one of his cygnets was inadvertently killed by a boatie’s oar in 2009.
Since then, he’s made a habit of getting his beak in the headlines. He first made a splash when his vicious attacks on rowers prompted students at St John’s to threaten to eat him.
Since then, he’s got a Facebook page, allegedly been attacked by BBC filmmakers, and he even survived a mystery assassination attempt in December 2010. Last year, the RSPCA shipped him off to hospital for treatment on a dodgy toe.
Clare Boat Club Captain Esther Momcilovic said that “the news that he is being moved will doubtless be met with relief by the rowing community”.
“Not only will the river be decidedly more peaceful for coxes, he will also be able to nest with his family in a much safer environment”, she added.
One Magdalene boatie certainly won’t be sorry to see him go, however, after ASBO singled her out for special treatment.
Third-year Maddie Scragg said “he charged towards me and took a chunk out of my side. All the rowers were too busy laughing to row out of the way, so he kept on coming back for more!”