Oxford Library Shagged Shut

Other Place hanky panky has forced College officials to close Oriel College’s library in the continuing saga of book-stack nookie.

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Oxford’s Oriel College has restricted library opening hours after rumours students kept having sex there.

Undergrads were allegedly caught too many times bonking in between the book-stacks, and College has had enough.

Oriel Library’s suggestive interior

In an email to students, Senior Dean Julian Kerkhecker wrote: “This is not acceptable.” According to her: “the library is not being treated with appropriate consideration.” While this is the official reason, rumour suggests that the punishment is actually due to students been caught in the act.

The library will now be closed every weekday after 5.30pm, and shut completely on weekends as a collective punishment.

The theology section is suspected to be where most of the magic happens, as books were found spread around and bookcases moved out of place.

Ssssshhhhag [reconstruction; not Oriel library]

This isn’t the first time Oxford students have got steamy amongst the bookshelves. Last year Worcester students got in trouble for their popular ‘Half-Naked Half-Hour,’ where they stripped down while working. Unfortunately it left the college “in a state of chaos,” as The Other Place found it too hot to handle.

But Cambridge students have their fair share of library lay too. A student who wished to remain anonymous confessed to The Tab that he was recently caught on top of another male friend in the Pembroke Law library.

“That someone could walk in any moment made it all the more exciting,” he said. “But unluckily for us, exactly that happened and we had to stop.”

At least the student who walked in “had the courtesy to turn off the lights as he quickly rushed out.” How considerate.