Snog Thy Neighbour

Imagine taking a lunch break, biting into a sandwich and spotting two students snogging in the corner of the canteen. Imaging they are alternating between tonsil teasing and a biting their toasties. The sight would be quite rare, but let’s assume it’s happening. Now imagine the reactions of your mates. Would they politely ignore them in silent approval? Probably not. Most likely, they would whisper, jeer and cringe.

For some reason, there is a strong aversion to public displays of affection in this country, and this university follows the trend with Victorian zeal. But it shouldn’t. As the educated élite, we should know better.

There is nothing more healthy and heartfelt than spontaneously expressing your love for somebody even (and perhaps especially) if it means disclosing it to the surrounding crowd.

A tongue sarnie can be the perfect snack

Granted, there are already times and places in Cambridge for all sorts of conspicuous affectionate displays: Wednesday nights at Cindies, at a pre-lash, at a post-lash, at a swap, and at house parties. But why can’t our daily lives be more of a constant, understated Cindies outing? Why shouldn’t we be able to display our affection for each other in the middle of Sainsbury’s without others looking at us in disgust?

I’m sure I’ve already lost some of you by now. But let me reassure you: I do not wish for this town to turn into some sort of saliva-porn circus. But there’s nothing wrong with a cheeky, public snog. If I had my way, Cambridge would resemble a summer’s day in Rome, where everybody – including droves of finally liberated pensioners – shamelessly exchanges steamy backrubs and the occasional PDA.

There is a genuine argument that PDAs make other people uncomfortable. That they attract creeps. That they’re inappropriate and reveal too much, endangering our physical and professional safety. Bollocks. We can and must learn to be comfortable with them.

PDAs are sexy and they relieve some of our daily stress. They should be encouraged, and we should engineer this culture change. So relax, stop the awkward squirming, and give your peeps a peck or a lick. In public. Grind away, and Cambridge will lead the pro-affection revolution.