Tab Cribs: Murray Edwards
JESSICA O’DRISCOLL-BREEN tells us how coming last in the room ballot led her to domestic paradise and nocturnal flashers.
This week we leave behind the columns and turrets of central Cambridge for something very much more โbreeze blockโ. Jessica OโDriscoll-Breen opens her doors to us with a scream of: “Who the feck are you?” before leading us into a domestic dungeon of heady aromas and dark night-time visitors.
Ben Dalton: How did you get this house?ย
Jessica OโDriscoll-Breen: We were, would you believe, actually bottom of the ballot. Initial impressions of the house werenโt fantastic, with us noticing before all else the pungent smell and bars on the windows. Then we transformed it from a hateful asylum to what we now know and love as โThe House of Ginโ.
Jessica reposes on her sofa, aside her gin and her Amy
BD: It smells absolutely cracking in here – what is that?
JODB: Oh thanks! Thatโs my incense โ itโs called Nag Champa and it reminds me of my mum. She recently got into weird mystic shit and our house in Ireland is strewn with angel cards and incense. Itโs good craic.
The Capri Sun sets over bedlam
BD: โHouse of Gin?โย
JODB: We called it the House of Gin in a moment of epiphany one night. I also made a sign for the hall way to enforce this.
BD: Your house recently made Tab headlines as the scene of the crime of the Murray Edwards masturbator. I believe it happened in your room…
JODB: Yes. This was actually one of the perks of living here โ the arrivals of the police made us look cool to our neighbours. The flasher made me realise that even being so far out of town, one is never truly alone. Itโs nice, I guess.
Jessica reenacts the fateful night
BD: Your walls are lined with women with their bottoms showing. Why such naturist choices?
JODB: Iโd rather not talk to you about it.
Botties a-plenty
BD: Starring in Tab Cribs is an honour by anyoneโs standards. What makes the House of Gin Murray Edwardsโ top pad?
JODB: The Elvis posters on the bathroom doors add undeniable spice to my quotidian. A supermodel also lives here. Although she didnโt want to appear in this article as she is quite camera shy.
Elvis died on the toilet.
Thank you very much Jessica. Donโt mind if I help myself to a pot of Alpro Soya on the way out…