Mark Liu Blockbuster Approaches

Senior News Reporter PAPATYA SUTCLIFFE investigates exciting rumours of a new film by renowned Auteur and lothario Mark Liu.

Mark Liu – film-maker, journo and YouTube sensation – is soon to release a new film, The Tab has discovered.

Mark, famous for such gems as Why Women are Bad at World of Warcraft and a Guide to Women and Dating, is planning to release a blockbuster this summer.

The Tab’s Papatya Sutcliffe caught up with the man himself to find out the latest:

Papatya Sutcliffe: Hi Mark, I hear you’re going to be releasing a new film soon. Can you tell us what it’s about?

Mark Liu: The film is mainly about my own romantic conquest of a girl named Alexis Abraham and rivalry with Johan Gruber de Los Angeles (any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental). It is primarily a film about love, betrayal and chess, but will also touch on some very important and controversial issues, like class divide, paedophilia, the inferiority of women, and gunfights. There will also be a plot twist.

PS: What made you decide to make it?

ML: I love film, but films have been a bit shit these days unless they are directed by Christopher Nolan. Last few times I was in the cinema, I thought to myself: “I could make a better film than that, and will.” And what better idea than to make a movie based on my own life?

Better than anything Christopher Nolan could do

PS: When are you planning to release it?

ML: I plan for it to be a Summer blockbuster, but I don’t want to go up against The Dark Knight Rises out of respect for my contemporaries, which is why it will most likely go straight to Youtube or Blu-Ray. However, there will most likely be a red carpet screening at some point somewhere.

PS: What would you say is your aesthetic? Do you have one?

ML: Cinema verité (like documentary-style for the film plebs out there), because it reflects the way I view real life. Also it is very cheap to do which is good as I don’t plan for this movie to be commercially successful. I’m not in the film business for profit, I’m doing it purely for the art form and to get laid.

PS: Do your videos show ‘the real you’?

ML: I think a 5 minute Youtube video will be naturally unrepresentative. I will say that those who have judged me have done so unfairly, and if they met me in real life they would discover that I am a lot deeper and more complex than they imagined. I’m smarter and more attractive too.

PS: How do you deal with your fans?

ML: I am often polite but some of them can get really annoying, and occasionally some are obsessive stalker types, which I’m okay with unless they are male or under legal age. I get recognised a lot but people are usually apprehensive about getting the wrong Asian so don’t always confront me.

PS: Do you have any plans for future projects?

ML: I’m Already thinking about a sequel if there is demand for it.

Excited? Anxious? Aroused? Check out the two trailers, one above and one below, for the film, due for release entirely at Mark’s discretion.

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