Wolfson June Event

MATILDA WNEK manages to keep her evening afloat, but is hardly swept away by an event titanic in name only.

Howler june event matilda wnek staircase band Wolfson Wolfson June Event


24th June 2011, £61

Like a heavy barge approaching the dock, May Week must grind to halt. And so the Wolfson June Event to mark the end of a week of ambition, grandeur and excitement. I had a great time, because I spent it wheeling through rooms with free food and drink with many friends, but as far as an ‘event’ goes, it was pretty lame.

Actually it was like being on a cruise ship: what was there was fun, but in the light of there being no alternative. The Titanic theme didn’t really extend further than this though. Some creatively named  areas- ‘The Engine Room’, ‘The First Class Ballroom’  were minimally decorated, and the ‘Iceberg’ Marquee was a bit wierd. A bit like having a Boeing 767 room at a 9/11 themed party.

Anyway the music was good. Very cheesy but always recognisable, the grads got their groove on so shamelessly it made me think getting wiser means getting less embarrassable. The Staircase Band were a good choice for the engine room, and filled the floor.

We spent a few bleak hours in the time vortex of the howler room, where audiences glaze to immobility and it’s acceptable to stand up and sing Adele’s ‘Someone Like You’ to a room of innocent partygoers. Mildly offensive and hollow poetry was read with drunken resentment for the audience’s inattention, and a compere tried to down a pint of cider to win us back. Odd interludes of uncoordinated burlesque happened too.

Food and drink was unimaginative and average. I drank a lot of beer, but others had basic vodka mixers (after the gin ran out at 11pm). Most of the hot food was stationed at one end in a great fiery line, like a cafeteria. Burgers, Hog Roast, Chips and Pizza pleased though, and are not to be sneered at. The Coffee van was a great idea.

The ents choices seemed to be chosen with the same rationale you’d apply to brightening the games room in an old folks’ home. The beige carpeted room had Wii, Scaletrix, and bowls of boiled sweets. It was nice though, like the winding down of your cousins’ new year’s eve party.

All in all it was a place you had to make fun, which was quite easy, but not really worth the ticket price.

Food and Drink:

Wow Factor:

Value for Money:

Star attraction: the long walk back to town in the early rainy hours

Biggest Turn Off: Terrible poetry at the howler